Before I do, I should probably give y'all a little background on my eyesight.
For those of you who know my story, you can skip down to the asterisk where it will be more current info.* For those who don't, this is my story and I will answer that burning question that everyone has when they meet me but are too polite to ask - that is, "Sarah, why are your glasses so thick?"
Well, here's the answer: I was born blind. As in, I could see light and dark, but that's it. My parents didn't know until I was 6 months old. when they took me in, it was discovered that I had cataracts (basically just a fancy word for scar tissue) and they were over the lens of my eye. In order to remove the cataracts, they had to remove my lenses as well. After several surgeries, God gave the doctors enough wisdom to remove everything the best way possible. I now have no lenses in my eyes, which is why my glasses are so amazingly thick - pretty cool, eh? (yes, Sam, I did throw that in just for you
)What does this mean exactly? Well, you know when you look through binoculars and you usually have to adjust them so you can see clearly out of them? Well, my eyes are like that, only I can't adjust them - they are stuck at that blurry and somewhat out of focus stage.
When I was three or so, I developed childhood glaucoma thanks to all the surgeries. Glaucoma basically affects the pressure in the eye making it too high or too low. Mine is too high. If it gets too too high, my retinas could detach.
*All that to say, I have grown up knowing that one day, i might lose my vision. Well, it now seems that day has come. Over the last few months/weeks, my vision has deteriorated rapidly. I have gone from have pretty decent peripheral vision all things considered to having none. meaning if you and I were standing right next to each other, I would have no idea you were there. It makes walking around campus quite fun - especially trying to cross the street. My guardian angel has been quite busy lately.
So have my dear friends, who have been helping me get from place and making sure I'm doing alright - but more on that later.On top of my peripheral vision being shot, my central vision is going as well. Sometimes it is crystal clear, sometimes it is so fuzzy I can't tell what is in front of me. This makes reading, and school work and going to classes rather difficult, but I'm trying to manage, an by God's strength, I will be able to.
I have gone to two different doctors so far, and neither of them have been able to tell me anything. This Saturday, I am scheduled for an MRI at Lynchburg general. They want to see if there are any tumors in my brain that might be causing the vision loss.
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To be honest, I hope they find something. Knowing what's going on is better than not knowing at all. I'd rather know that I'm dying than not know. I am not afraid of death, nor am I afraid of going blind. God is in control, and I mean that when I say it. It is not a cop out, but absolute truth in my mind.
I KNOW that Christ can heal my vision completely if He choses to do so. I also know that more than I want to see, I want to do His will and bring all the glory and honor to Him.
Honestly, I see myself in a win-win-win situation here. If God choses to heal me, then praise Him for performing a miracle, and once again showing Himself as the Great Healer and Great Physician.
If God allows me to keep the vision I have, then Praise Him still because I can still see and glorify Him with the little sight I have.
And finally, if I go blind, then Praise Him, because the next face I will see is that of my Savior, Jesus Christ, and to Him and Him alone be all praise, honor and glory.
If I go blind, I cannot hate or blame God.. Sight is a gift straight from Him, just like marriage is, and most have it. But what people don't realize is that being blind is also a gift from Him - just like being single. Fewer have that gift, but the rewards are still there, and so is the opportunity to Glorify Christ. Sure it will be done in a much different manner, but how can I be ungrateful with a free gift that my Father has chosen to bestow upon me?
Having said all that, yes I am coming to terms with all of this. Does this mean it's easy to deal with, or that I have it all together? Nope! Does this mean I am not terrified of actually going blind? Absolutely not! but in my fear, I have faith. I know that my Savior will never give me more than I can handle. Does this mean I have given up on God healing me, or that I don't need prayer anymore? Decidedly Not!
This is one thing that has been so amazing through all of this: Seeing Christ work, and shower His love on me and on others in all of this. Every time I have been down, He has been so faithful to bring people to me to encourage me, or pray with me or for me, or take me to the dr.'s, or hug me, or feed me
or just remind me that He Himself is here. To all of you who are praying: Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You have no idea how much it means that you care so much. I know that God is hearing your prayers, and that in His time, He will answer them. But know this: I want His will to be done no matter what that means. I have faith that He can heal me, but if He choses not to, I still trust Him.( heh -I'll be surprised if anyone actually reads all this, but I figured this would be the best way to keep people updated) In the future, my notes should be shorter.)
I love you all so much, and if anyone ever has a prayer request, or needs to talk or be encouraged or needs anything, know that I am here for you, but more than that, your Heavenly Father is too.
In Christ,
Sarah
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God bless!
that you will keep trusting in God no matter what happens. I wish I could be there to be your friend and to give you a 
