Right now...

[Termite]

... I feel so lost. After finally taking two steps forward in my dreams I'm being pulled back. I feel so lost to God; all the peace and comfort I felt last year after starting in my goal for my high school steam has been stripped down to the fact that I failed club tryouts (which burns even more after the coach told this other guy that he was keeping an eye on me... Turns out this 'other guy' is a college coach) and honestly don't know where to go from here. I feel condemned in every way regarding my relationship with Jesus and doubt I ever had such a faith. I'm fighting and fighting but can't get ANYWHERE. My ankle has dropped back into swelling and weakness, and I jammed my elbow while playing keeper.

Can bad things happen to Christians? Well, I never said they couldn't. And right now most of this I've done to myself... *sighs*

[Danielle Abigail Maxwell]

Hey, come here *hugs* You need a long hug.

I feel the same way. The beginning of the year felt fresh and awesome - God was inspiring me and he led me through a lot. It's June, Graduation... and I feel lost again myself. And I'm just getting mad at everyone. I want to go back, but how?

It's really hard. And all I can offer is time. Happened the first time. I wonder what will take place this time.

Bad things happen to Christians all the time. Why is it good people get cancer? Why do 6 months old get cancer? Why do new believers die in a car crash two weeks later? I have a LOT of "why's" and "what ifs" to ask God... if I remember when he shows up and I'm all happy he's here.

Don't worry. God's got something planned so magnificent... its amazing.

My walk with God has never been perfect. No one's is. I remember BJ Higgins and how he was a normal boy, but he had so much for God.... I wanted that at one point. And then realized it wasn't me. I want God, but I have to find out my path a different way. And its hard to find the balance. I'm thankful for my bible teacher though...

You had that faith, Termite. You did. And you still do. It's just a really low valley. Sometimes it takes going to the Valley's to get back up to the mountains. I learned that when I was seriously depressed about BJ. Time is all I can offer.

I'm sorry you feel this way though. *hugs* I think we all go through hard times. (I was hoping to have the perfect schedule for summer and fall and winter and spring quarters so I could get into the Nursing program next year. That plan dropped so fast when the class I NEEDED filled up before I got to register. I was really disappointed. But I have more happening now and I think God's got control. Doesn't mean much though... Guess it's all time. My faith is definitely not much...)

*hugs*

[Sapphire]

Sadly, bad things do happen to Christian, however we have an advantage. We have God to lean on. God promised that he would never put up through more that we can handle. If something bad happens to you, don't worry because God always helps you get through the tough times. You are a very special girl, Termite. God has an awesome plan for your life. God loves you so much.

[Termite]

Thanks girls. I did read your posts before, I was just in too much of an emotional state to comment...


...And now, I have some good news ( !) and some bad news. ( )

The good news is, that I might get to play club anyway. I can't go into detail, but something may be worked out...! I wouldn't start unless the other keeper got injured, but the training is a big part anyway. (and I need more practice then experience, I can tell you that. >_> haha)

The bad news? My dad absolutely refused to do anything about my ankle. I even said it THREE times Friday, and what do I get? A ban from watching my home team play and a cold shoulder. >_> I've showed it to him twice, and he won't a)believe me or b)not want me to go through therapy again. He couldn't wait for me to finish up last time and was getting ticked I kept going back and was blasting my therapist (though he'd never met her before) saying she just wants the money, etc etc... Sorry daddy dear, but not everyone's like that. >_> Unfortunately, once his mind is made up... *sighs* I may just beg my mom to take me to get it scanned. I seriously can not wait for it to heal. It's dead, weak, and swollen. What does he want me to do about that? Well, limp on it. But then there's the fact I had all the issues with my ankle the LAST time cause limping on it so much messed the bone structure up... *sighs* So please, continue praying for my mental state and that he'll have a change of heart... Cause it's getting pretty bad.

[Marvin D.]

Ow, that's absolutely terrible Termite! I'll be praying for you!

[Sapphire]

I will be praying.

[Stop Wooton' Around]

God said that he would not allow more to come our way then we could handle. Just try to read your bible and pray. Trust God he knows whats ahead even if you don't. I will remember you in prayer.

[Termite]

Well, I'm a lot better now, but thanks. And yeah, I keep my Bible and devotional handy.

[Stop Wooton' Around]

I'm glad to hear the news Termite. God Bless!