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Spiritual Warfare

Posted: Mon May 07, 2012 10:43 pm
by the_newfie_haystack
Hey guys, I know I don't come here much anymore, but I'm kind of desperate so I don't know where else to turn right now except into His arms, and asking for prayer is part of this.

My prayer request is twofold.

First off, I'm not sure why, but I believe I am being spiritually attacked in regards to the relationship I have with my boyfriend. We have been officially together for little over a month now. He is very strongly Christian, grew up in a Christian family and has told me and demonstrated to me that he loves God more than me (which is very important), and I love Jesus more than him. We both want to do things the right way, with God at the center and being the foundation of our relationship.

The problem is, lately I've been getting mental suggestions to leave him, even though thus far there hasn't been anything overly wrong happening (I.E. no sin to justify this that hasn't already been repented of). The thing is, I'm not sure whether it's the Holy Spirit suggesting this (which really makes no sense, given what I have described to you guys above) or whether this is the attack of the devil, because he sees that this can only make my relationship with God stronger (which makes tons more logical sense, but there's always that annoying nagging feeling). Truth is, part of me is terrified that God wants me to leave him for some reason, which on top of making NO SENSE WHATSOEVER also makes me scared that if God really is asking me to leave, that I may be too selfish to obey Him, and I really want to obey God. So could you please pray for me, both for spiritual discernment and for whatever this is (if it is not of the Holy Spirit) to LEAVE ME ALONE? I have already sought the council of two Godly women in my life, both of whom do not believe I should leave the relationship, and I have sought out the Word of God, but thus far the only word I have received is to be patient. I will be, but it is hard when whatever this is keeps nagging and nagging and nagging for hours on end. >_<

Secondly, right now my church is going through spiritual attack like you would not believe. 0_0 Like seriously, it is at RIDICULOUS levels. Within the last few weeks we have, in order:

A) A well-respected pastor at our church being unexpectedly let go for no real justifiable reason by the Head Pastor and the church staff, thereby knocking off the city's only Christian counsellor.
B) Our Children's Pastor and most of his family being killed in a very bad highway accident last week (a man whom I and many of my friends have worked with). Needless to say, our entire church was devastated.
C) An incident occurring just a week after the crash that was potentially demonic in nature and involved two members of our church being admitted into the local psych ward.

Clearly, my church needs prayer right now. :( PLEASE PRAY.

Just...I'm sorry for the near novel-length post, but I really, really need to share this with someone. I am so beyond exhausted in all areas of my life; spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically. I feel discouraged, heartbroken, scared and wearied. It has been one VERY long and rough week, and my emotions, normally very stable, have been going to all ends of the spectrum. I just really need prayer right now, and the acknowledgement that God is here, even in the midst of all this, that He has already won the battle against the devil for all time at Calvary, and that things may seem rough now, but God will lead all of us through it. So PLEASE, PLEASE PRAY.

Re: Spiritual Warfare

Posted: Tue May 08, 2012 1:02 am
by The Kings Daughter
First of all, know that I'm most assuredly praying for you. :)

A few people I know that have been unsure of a relationship have cut off communication for a month just to see how things go. Now obviously I personally have never been there. But there is an option in between breaking up and keeping strong. :) If this is God's will, He will help you see it. So yes, prayers during your waiting period. =)

I'm so sorry to hear about your pastors. :( It's really hard when things happen to the Christians we look up to. Just this past week I've been sorting out feelings about VotM President Tom White's stumble and the taking of his life soon after. It's really hard for me to think about, because this guy had such a heart for God and His people!

I can't possibly imagine what your church family is going through, I'm so very sorry to hear that so much is going on at once. Or that any of it is going on. :hug:

There is nothing we will ever have to endure that too difficult, and there is no trial that our Lord has not already faced on overcome! I refer back to my depression, again. During the time when things were really bad, everything hurt. My mind was in constant anxiety that was almost unbearable. But I thought about what Jesus' mental anguish must have been when He was completely cut off from the Father. Falling helplessly into His arms is one of the hardest, but sweetest things.

If you want just want someone to talk to, fill free to send something my way. Hang in there! :)

Re: Spiritual Warfare

Posted: Tue May 08, 2012 8:52 am
by Blitz
Okay praying for you. That is definitely a tough situation.

Re: Spiritual Warfare

Posted: Tue May 08, 2012 10:43 am
by the_newfie_haystack
Thank you Blitz and The King's Daughter. I thought about taking that option, The King's Daughter but it's not feasible at the moment because this is a long-distance relationship, which means little contact as it is. What's more, one of the things I asked God for (to confirm that it was Him saying this) is for my boyfriend to get the same spiritual nagging I'm getting (though to a lesser extent, naturally). Yet when I asked him about it, he told me that God hadn't been bothering him spiritually about the relationship at all, and that he's been quite happy about it. He's been praying for me about all this too. So yeah, it's looking more and more like this is an attack of the devil. >_> Lovely.

Thank you both for your prayers, I really appreciate it. :)

Re: Spiritual Warfare

Posted: Tue May 08, 2012 11:39 am
by The Kings Daughter
Ah, I see. But yes, shall continue to do so! :)

Re: Spiritual Warfare

Posted: Tue May 08, 2012 7:24 pm
by Termite
Well since it is most likely an attack of the devil, take heart in the fact you're doing the right thing... if you weren't, then this wouldn't be happening. :hug: And I'll definitely be praying for you.

Re: Spiritual Warfare

Posted: Tue May 08, 2012 8:06 pm
by Jesus' Princess
I can't imagine going through all that at once. :hug: I'll keep you in my prayers.

Re: Spiritual Warfare

Posted: Tue May 08, 2012 9:55 pm
by the_newfie_haystack
Thank you The King's Daughter, Termite and Jesus' Princess. *hugs* Things are still rough over here, and we still need prayer, but today was pretty calming (which I thank God for) and I was able to do some really helpful reading which helped clarify a few things spiritually for me in terms of my relationship with my B/F, which is great. I'm still under spiritual attack in this area, BUT at least now I know that God really does approve of the relationship (the way things fell into place kind of confirms God's hand there), I just had to clear up a few things on my end. Still need prayer, but things are improving somewhat.

Church-wise things are still up in the air, but my parents have been doing some enquiring and have found out a few interesting things (which I don't know if I am entirely allowed to disclose just yet). They've been keeping me posted about it. I only hope and pray that things will be cleared up and this spiritual battle will be won soon.

Re: Spiritual Warfare

Posted: Tue May 08, 2012 10:02 pm
by Anna><>
I definitely be praying about all the things you mentioned. I've just learned to really lean on Christ when things get bad in life and he'll carry you through any situation.

-- less than a minute ago --

I definitely be praying about all the things you mentioned. I've just learned to really lean on Christ when things get bad in life and he'll carry you through any situation.

Re: Spiritual Warfare

Posted: Tue May 08, 2012 10:11 pm
by the_newfie_haystack
Thank you Anna><>. Right now, I think what I need most is for someone to give me a big fat hug and just hold me for a while and tell me that things are going to be ok. :( I really need to hear from God as well, this is so difficult and exhausting and I can't face this alone.

Re: Spiritual Warfare

Posted: Wed May 09, 2012 7:00 am
by Sapphire
I will be praying for all of the things mentioned. Remember to always trust God and know that he is in control no matter what.

Re: Spiritual Warfare

Posted: Wed May 09, 2012 10:23 pm
by the_newfie_haystack
Thank you Sapphire. Things along the boyfriend front are still kind of shaky. Like, I'll be fine for a few hours, but then I'll read “All who love me will do what I say. My Father will love them, and we will come and make our home with each of them. Anyone who doesn’t love me will not obey me... (John 14:23, 24 NIV)", and then I feel like a knife is going through my chest and I'm back to wondering if I am doing the will of the Father through this relationship, or whether He prefer I'd be single. It's frustrating, because here I've been waiting for so long for God to put someone like my BF in my life, and after a few rough starts He appears to have finally answered my prayer, only for me to start doubting whether this is of Him or not. Like, I can fully understand why I'm receiving conviction if my BF wasn't a Christian, or if we were both actively sinning, but this doesn't make sense! Aaaargh!

On the church front, things have gotten so much worse. :( Like, this is stuff that's making me question whether I should continue attending that particular church. I am so disgusted and heartbroken, so prayers are definately needed there.

Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this and pray for my church family, my BF and I. You have no idea how much I appreciate this; it's almost like spiritual catharsis, being able to tell other people about this.

Edit: Please ignore what I had written in before, I was spiritually attacked quite badly last night and wasn't discerning quite what was happening when I wrote that. I have since spoken with my very wise mother (who is a strong Christian) and she believes that I was spiritually attacked and that wasn't the Holy Spirit speaking to me, and that this possibly stems from everything that has been happening at our church.

Re: Spiritual Warfare

Posted: Fri May 11, 2012 8:37 am
by Termite
Your mother's right... the one word that I saw, and which I have struggled with a lot myself, is "feel". We don't "feel" God or "feel" His Words, but we know them. :hug: Don't forget that. Those feelings are a lie from the pit of Hell; trust me on that. Moms are great to have around.

Re: Spiritual Warfare

Posted: Fri May 11, 2012 8:46 am
by the_newfie_haystack
Thank you Termite. :) Things on the boyfriend front have gotten much better, though I am not quite out of the woods just yet. :) Things on the church front continue to be bad, BUT I have signed an official petition to have an official investigation begun on why the Counselling Pastor was let go, so hopefully that will be effective in bringing some much needed change to our church. Continue to pray please, this isn't over yet.

EDIT: Praise report! \:D/ Things between me and the BF are now back to normal. YAY! =D>

Re: Spiritual Warfare

Posted: Sun May 13, 2012 1:36 pm
by Catspaw
I'll be praying as well, Haystack. :hug: I'm glad to hear that things are going better with your boyfriend already. :)

Re: Spiritual Warfare

Posted: Sun May 13, 2012 11:24 pm
by The Kings Daughter
Shall continue! I'm so glad things with your bf are good! :D Thank you Lord. ^_^

Re: Spiritual Warfare

Posted: Mon May 14, 2012 10:02 pm
by the_newfie_haystack
Thank you Catspaw (man, it's been a long time! How are you?) and The Kings Daughter. :) Things with my church are currently neutral, but giving that when I signed that petition it was almost 2/3 of the way to the number of signatures needed to make it legally valid, I'm giving it about one month, tops, before that investigation happens. :/ I just wish it didn't have to come to this...

Thanks again to everyine who has been praying, I truly appreciate it. :)

Re: Spiritual Warfare

Posted: Tue May 15, 2012 2:26 pm
by The Top Crusader
Well that's a tough situation.

Anyway you boyfriend could be a perfectly wonderful non-Satanist but God could still not want you together for whatever reason. >_> I don't know the situation of course but sometimes when God tries to point us in a different direction than what we where we want to go the best reaction isn't "OH HEY SATAN! GET OUT!"

I say that only because a quick glancing over of the thread the argument seems to be that he's a good Christian and not actively sinning, THEREFORE it MUST be a demonic attack. Maybe I am missing something that clarifies better. >_>

Re: Spiritual Warfare

Posted: Thu May 17, 2012 9:42 am
by the_newfie_haystack
Oh trust me Top, I asked myself the same questions, but so far I have stuck with the relationship and as far as I know, God hasn't condemned me for it. A lot of this could simply be me overanalyzing things as well, I don't know. :shrugs: One thing I do know for sure is that God is not someone who would purposely confuse or mislead someone; if He is telling me to leave, there would be no room for doubt. The fact that I was quite confused at the time (plus other strong Christians with discernment telling me not to sabotage the relationship because that's not what God would want, including my own parents) kind of confirms that it wasn't really from Him. At the moment, I am just waiting and seeing what God's got in store for that, and enjoying the relationship meanwhile. \:D/

Re: Spiritual Warfare

Posted: Fri May 18, 2012 9:06 am
by The Top Crusader
Ah, okay, cool. I'm not really speaking to your situation specifically, but in generalities. ;) Often the resistance of our own human nature can make God's will seem confusing.