I'm not happy. I wish to be happy, but I'm not. I'm turning to my dearest friends to help me with my sadness. Please help me EB-Wan Kenobi! (Or anyone else...) You're my only hope!
Make Frank literally laugh out loud and win $100! Use any means necessary...
I need some happiness. Help me.
Win lots of bucks!
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Jennifer Doyle
- An original
- Posts: 6292
- Joined: May 2005
- Location: Doyle Manor, Odyssey
- Contact:
Well, I can try. Anything for you Frank. Anything for $100 actually!
Once upon a time there was a girl about 7 years old whose parents forced to help out making dinner. Her assignment was to turn on the bar-b-Q for the roasting of cow flesh. She had seen her father do it and had done it with his supervision before, but never alone. She trotted out to the barbcue and opened the lid. Then she turned some dials. Suddenly, she remembered you weren't supposed to turn the dials first! you were supposed to turn on the gas! So she turned the dials back where they were and then turned on the gas. THen she turned the dials and with her face hovered over the coals, stuck a lighter under the barbcue.
BOOOM!
A fireball literally exloded in my- I mean her face. I was not injured though I did not remember my name for a while. (Hehe) I went inside and my mom took one look and said "What happened!?" because I had no eyebrows and my bangs were sineged. "Um, I dunno." My dad went out to look at it and said that because I did it in the wrong order, I'd basically made a bomb and lit it.
To this day I light the barbcue with my head UNDER it, so I don't lose my precious eyebrows again.
MORAL: Get your little sister to do chores that involve fire.
THE END.
Once upon a time there was a girl about 7 years old whose parents forced to help out making dinner. Her assignment was to turn on the bar-b-Q for the roasting of cow flesh. She had seen her father do it and had done it with his supervision before, but never alone. She trotted out to the barbcue and opened the lid. Then she turned some dials. Suddenly, she remembered you weren't supposed to turn the dials first! you were supposed to turn on the gas! So she turned the dials back where they were and then turned on the gas. THen she turned the dials and with her face hovered over the coals, stuck a lighter under the barbcue.
BOOOM!
A fireball literally exloded in my- I mean her face. I was not injured though I did not remember my name for a while. (Hehe) I went inside and my mom took one look and said "What happened!?" because I had no eyebrows and my bangs were sineged. "Um, I dunno." My dad went out to look at it and said that because I did it in the wrong order, I'd basically made a bomb and lit it.
To this day I light the barbcue with my head UNDER it, so I don't lose my precious eyebrows again.
MORAL: Get your little sister to do chores that involve fire.
THE END.
“God grant me the courage not to give up what I think is right even though I think it is hopeless.” Chester W. Nimitz
Frank, I don't think that what will follow should be considered an entry in your contest, because it is a tragic tale of love, loss, and Cheetos gone bad. I am searching for a proper outlet of my angst, and the urge to post overwhelmed me while I was on this thread, so here it is:
Once upon a time, there was a girl name Jane, and she loved her pet rock like it was more than a rock. And it was - it was actually a turtle, but Jane's family wasn't allowed to have pets, so they named the turtle "Rock" and tried to supress their uneasy consciences.
Alas, the bliss that Jane knew could not last forever. One day, Rick brought some Cheetos into the house. (Rick is just a random guy that exists to confuse the readers, unless the reader is a girl who reads too many romance novels - then Rick is a hot guy who has a crush on Jane, but cannot reveal his feelings because he's cooler than she is at school, and he values his social status. However, Rick has decided that he likes Jane more than he likes his social standing, so he has brought over some Cheetos to Jane's house as a gift.)
Rock ate the Cheetos, and they were stale, and therefore bad for his little digestive system, and he died. Jane was rather distraught. Rick left. (Back to the romanticizing girl ideas, Rick had to leave because his guilt at the pain that he caused his darling Jane was just too much for him to live with, and he had to leave before he cried all over the freshly vacuumed floor. Rick went and became a hermit, and later almost tried to drown himself, but he was in the desert and needed to conserve water. He then re-evaluated his miserable muck of a life and went to find Jane, who welcomed him with open arms, before introducing Rick to her husband, her children, and her grandchildren, and showing him the neatly labelled "Rock" sign where the turtle that was gone, but not forgotten, still lay where he had been deep-sixed. But I digress). Jane had an emotional funeral for Rock, and then promptly got a pet goldfish that was immediately named Swish.
Prophetically, Swish made a swishing noise on his way to his final resting place soon afterwards.
And that concludes the tale of love, loss, and Cheetos gone bad. I hope that I have not made too many of you cry with my sad story, but I felt that the time had come for it to be told, for lo, I am that fawn.
Once upon a time, there was a girl name Jane, and she loved her pet rock like it was more than a rock. And it was - it was actually a turtle, but Jane's family wasn't allowed to have pets, so they named the turtle "Rock" and tried to supress their uneasy consciences.
Alas, the bliss that Jane knew could not last forever. One day, Rick brought some Cheetos into the house. (Rick is just a random guy that exists to confuse the readers, unless the reader is a girl who reads too many romance novels - then Rick is a hot guy who has a crush on Jane, but cannot reveal his feelings because he's cooler than she is at school, and he values his social status. However, Rick has decided that he likes Jane more than he likes his social standing, so he has brought over some Cheetos to Jane's house as a gift.)
Rock ate the Cheetos, and they were stale, and therefore bad for his little digestive system, and he died. Jane was rather distraught. Rick left. (Back to the romanticizing girl ideas, Rick had to leave because his guilt at the pain that he caused his darling Jane was just too much for him to live with, and he had to leave before he cried all over the freshly vacuumed floor. Rick went and became a hermit, and later almost tried to drown himself, but he was in the desert and needed to conserve water. He then re-evaluated his miserable muck of a life and went to find Jane, who welcomed him with open arms, before introducing Rick to her husband, her children, and her grandchildren, and showing him the neatly labelled "Rock" sign where the turtle that was gone, but not forgotten, still lay where he had been deep-sixed. But I digress). Jane had an emotional funeral for Rock, and then promptly got a pet goldfish that was immediately named Swish.
Prophetically, Swish made a swishing noise on his way to his final resting place soon afterwards.
And that concludes the tale of love, loss, and Cheetos gone bad. I hope that I have not made too many of you cry with my sad story, but I felt that the time had come for it to be told, for lo, I am that fawn.
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Eugene Blackgaard
- Amadeo killed me!
- Posts: 5337
- Joined: April 2005
- Location: The Place to Be.
- Contact:
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Chandler
Hey Frank! I ran into Trent on the street and guess what? He kept repeating himself! 
I asked him how he liked the weather and he kept going on and on about Andromeda stocks being $800. Then I asked him if he'd like to meet you too and he kept repeating this strange code. I finally told him that you would be upset if he didn't apologize. With that he got really mad 
then he turned into a pig and flew off. 
I haven't see him since but there have been a few reports of a UFO in the area. 
I asked him how he liked the weather and he kept going on and on about Andromeda stocks being $800. Then I asked him if he'd like to meet you too and he kept repeating this strange code. I finally told him that you would be upset if he didn't apologize. With that he got really mad then he turned into a pig and flew off. I haven't see him since but there have been a few reports of a UFO in the area. -
Frank
- Little Old Bird Woman
- Posts: 5141
- Joined: April 2005
- Location: Second star on the right and straight on 'till morning!
Hmmm...I wanted to click on your link, EB, but my loving parents don't allow us to visit homestarrunner.com. So I was forced to stop the link and ignore your attempts to be funny. (Or should I say, Homestar's attempts to be funny.)
I guess if no one is interested in making me laugh...then I'll just stop the contest. (Or raise the prize to $125)
I guess if no one is interested in making me laugh...then I'll just stop the contest. (Or raise the prize to $125)
You didn't like my story?Frank wrote: I guess if no one is interested in making me laugh...then I'll just stop the contest. (Or raise the prize to $125)
Part of the joke was the part where I said that it really shouldn't be considered an entry. Apparently I have failed. 
Woe is me, for Frank will now never know the joy of a funny Catspaw comment. (Actually, woe is Frank would be more accurate - not that I'm call her a horse or anything - maybe she's just hoarse). 
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Eugene Blackgaard
- Amadeo killed me!
- Posts: 5337
- Joined: April 2005
- Location: The Place to Be.
- Contact:
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Eugene Blackgaard
- Amadeo killed me!
- Posts: 5337
- Joined: April 2005
- Location: The Place to Be.
- Contact:
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Dr. Watson
- Be positive!
- Posts: 5568
- Joined: April 2005
- Location: 221B Baker Street
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Chandler