We are all doomed!

[Joy]

WHY THE HUMAN RACE WILL END BECAUSE OF STUPIDITY!!!

1. Only in
America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke.

5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8.Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and
'tics' meaning'bloodsucking creatures'

10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.

11Further.........you did not notice that #6 was missing.

EVER WONDER...
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor,
and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they
make the whole plane out of that stuff??

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport
the terminal?

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos:! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar o f Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me moretime?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a newsflash)


On Japanese knife: "Keep out of children." (Wow, that never occured to me.)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

[Jesus' Princess]

some of those are pretty funny.

[Mimi]

Nice list, CamillaFan. Those are funny!

[DanP740]

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they
make the whole plane out of that stuff??

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport
the terminal?

1. Black boxes serve a completely different purpose than the rest of the airplane, and to make the whole airplane that strong would require more weight, which would mean harder to make planes that could fly.

2. That's where the flights terminate.

[Woody]

some of those are pretty funny.

SOME of them are funny? They're all funny!

[Joy]

I actually found these on a site called Howrse. It is a site where you care for your horses, PM other players, and put up discussions in Equestrian Center forums.

[TigerintheShadows]

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Actually, we can; I've proved it. You can do your eye makeup with your mouth closed; I don't know why people do it with their mouth wide open. It's not that hard to shut it. I guess some women are so used to having their mouth open talking that they have to keep it open when they're applying their makeup or something.

I've seen most of these before, but this doesn't remove the humor. And in the back pages of most issues of Consumer Reports, they have more of those "I can't believe someone actually put this on a product label" things.

However, the fact that people were smart enough to be able to point these out actually goes to show that it's only a select few out of the population that is actually this stupid.

4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke.

It's kind of funny, actually, because Diet Cokes are actually more unhealthy for you than the regular ones because of all the additives.

[God's Daughter]

I read these out to my brother. A lot of them were pretty funny!

[Blitz]

True and a pizza here is finished in half and hour and it takes longer than that for the abulance to get to your house.

[American Eagle]

I, for one, have ironed and steamed my clothes while wearing them, and survived with only a second degree burn to the face. Why did my hat have to look so wrinkly? >_>

[The Kings Daughter]

I read these out to my brother. A lot of them were pretty funny!

Same here.

"Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?"
this.

On Japanese knife: "Keep out of children." and On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands."

Made me think of Dick Van Dyke slapstick.

I, for one, have ironed and steamed my clothes while wearing them, and survived with only a second degree burn to the face. Why did my hat have to look so wrinkly? >_>

At what age was this, praytell? o.O

[American Eagle]

I, for one, have ironed and steamed my clothes while wearing them, and survived with only a second degree burn to the face. Why did my hat have to look so wrinkly? >_>

At what age was this, praytell? o.O

It was at the age of sarcasm.

[Buzz]

I actually found these on a site called Howrse. It is a site where you care for your horses, PM other players, and put up discussions in Equestrian Center forums.

NO WAY!!!!!! I played on there too! For a long time!!! I still have an account on there, actually, I just don't play on it!

[The Kings Daughter]

I, for one, have ironed and steamed my clothes while wearing them, and survived with only a second degree burn to the face. Why did my hat have to look so wrinkly? >_>

At what age was this, praytell? o.O

It was at the age of sarcasm.

...drat.