The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"
Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"
Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00
The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"
Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.
________________________
There were eleven people hanging onto a rope that came down from an airplane.
Ten were blonde, and one was a brunette.
They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn't, the rope would break and everyone would die.
No one could decide who should go, so finally the brunette said, "I'll get off."
After a really touching speech from the brunette saying she would get off, all of the blondes started clapping.
Problem solved.
________________
A blonde named Barbara appeared on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire...
Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far - $500,000 and one lifeline left. The next question will give you the million dollars if you get it right ... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000 -- are you ready?"
Barbara: "Sure I'll have a go."
Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it...
A-Robin
B-Sparrow
C-Cuckoo
D-Thrush
"Remember, Barbara, it's worth 1 million dollars."
Barbara: "It's a cuckoo."
Regis: "You're sure? You can walk with the $500,000 or play on for the million."
Barbara: "I want to play, I'll go with C - Cuckoo."
Regis: "Is that your final answer?"
Barbara: "It is."
Regis: "Are you confident?"
Barbara: "Absolutely!"
Regis: "Barbara.....you had $500,000 and you said C -Cuckoo. Well....you're right! - You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS Here is
your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Barbara."
That night Barbara calls her friend Carol and they go to a local bar for a celebration drink. As they are sipping their champagne. Carol turns to Barbara and asks, "Tell me, how did you know that it was the cuckoo that does not build its own nest?"
"It was so simple," Barbara replied, "Everybody knows that cuckoos live
in clocks."
________________
Birthdays of Unimportant People
Jun.7th... Carlos Jeromack - Inventor of the cardboard man hole cover.
Nov.23rd...Gloria Wouwerman - Last woman to board a lifeboat on the Titanic, before it sailed.
Mar.13th...Isaac Grimaldi - Opened the first Kosher restaurant in Saudi Arabia.
Dec.3rd...Jacques Q. Moed - Paid $6.4 million at Christie's auction for the original Cinderella slipper (autographed by her stepmother).
Apr.25th...Helen Bardot - Made millions by adding numbers to alphabet soup recipe.
July 5th...Gerard K. Nerney Jr. - Sued 'K-Mart' claiming they used his middle initial without his authorization (settled for $1.49).
Oct.18th...Rodrigo Keller - Patented the first contact lens for seeing-eye dogs.
Jan.30th...Jessica Rolex - Developed soundless wind chimes.
Aug.2nd...Rev.Francis Goldblum - Proposed that 'death by stoning' become an alternative to the electric chair or lethal injections...hey it's biblical.
May 22nd...Sherry Sugarman - Successfully marketed recycled pixels to third world countries.
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You know you are in Texas when...
The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
The trees are whistling for the dogs.
The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
Hot water now comes out of both taps.
You can make sun tea instantly.
You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.
You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to
do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.
The cows are giving evaporated milk.
) if you post it later. 
