Posted: Mon May 09, 2005 2:21 pm
The Laws of Chocolate
If you get melted chocolate on you hands, you're eating it too slowly.
Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices, and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
Problem: How to get two pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. Solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
Diet tip: eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.
A nice box of chocolates provides your total intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?
If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all you chocolate, it may be a sign of a deeper problem.
If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
Equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate are a balanced diet.
Two phrases: Money talks. Chocolate sings.
The preservatives in chocolate make you look younger.
Question: Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Annoymous? Answer: Because no one wants to quit.
If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control-top pantyhose. An entire garment indujstry would be devestated.
Put "eat chocolate" at the top of you list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
I LOVE these jokes. And yes I am a self proclaimed chocoholic.
If you get melted chocolate on you hands, you're eating it too slowly.
Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices, and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
Problem: How to get two pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. Solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
Diet tip: eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.
A nice box of chocolates provides your total intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?
If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all you chocolate, it may be a sign of a deeper problem.
If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
Equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate are a balanced diet.
Two phrases: Money talks. Chocolate sings.
The preservatives in chocolate make you look younger.
Question: Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Annoymous? Answer: Because no one wants to quit.
If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control-top pantyhose. An entire garment indujstry would be devestated.
Put "eat chocolate" at the top of you list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
I LOVE these jokes. And yes I am a self proclaimed chocoholic.