Crushes, BF and GF, and more!

[The Top Crusader]

*PM's Continental Admiral's father to ask for his daughter's hand in marriage*

[Baragon]

*PM's Continental Admiral's father to ask for his daughter's hand in marriage*

He'd kill you.

[gimp80995]

There's nothing at all wrong with having parents involved. I don't think anyone here has said they've got a problem with such parental involvement.

No, but IMO, some are acting like they're mature enought to seek out a relationship with no parent / adult involvment or counsel.

The issue is, sometimes couples would like time alone.

And I see nothing wrong with being "alone"....I also agree that a young man and young woman can be in a room together (not a bedroom) without problems....but I prefer group things anyway as it's more of a hanging out type and getting to see how the person you're with inneracts with others in various situations.

However, at the same time, while I believe dating is acceptable, I demand that whoever desires to ask for my hand in marriage, must ask my father\mother before they ask me. The permission must be given before such an engagement occurs. It is simply important that the parents consent.

Agreed (see I'm not THAT hard to agree with ). Though in my case if things do progress my bf will end up asking either my pastor or an elder from my church. Due to various things my future spouse (whoever God decides that will be) can't ask my dad, and my mom is too far away for her to really know the young man in question, in my case (and other young ladies like myself), the young man would be asking an adult who knows me as well as my parents would know me.

I don't agree that two young adults can't go to a theater, or even be in a car alone, but I am glad that we agree on the above, at least (I.e., two adults can be alone in the same room alone).

Theater.....not that I'm against quality entertainment.....but movies just aren't my thing (and there are plenty that would agree with me) because the whole idea of courting (or dating if you choose to do so) is to get to know the person you're with.....kinda hard to talk and get to know each other in a theatre......much better to sit in the living room at home and put in a tape or DVD Then talk and watch your movie at the same time

Car alone.....I would also tend to think that's not the best choice....moving or parked. I mean, yeah, there could be some exceptions where the guy is giving the girl a ride or whatever. If a ride does need to be given, there can be arrangements where someone else is there. Even young people brought up in good Christian homes can be led into temptaion when no one else is around.

In the same room alone......yeah, I see nothing wrong with that, as long as (like LBG said) one person is on the couch and the other in a chair, or two different chairs or something like that......and I don't care how well the young woman and man know each other, I would prefer to see that someone else (ie,. and adult) is at least in the house, even if they are in a different room

*PM's Continental Admiral's father to ask for his daughter's hand in marriage*

He'd kill you.

ROTFLOLBOMHOEISHMSBTHSB


Peace Out

-Gimp

[pianokitty]

What purpose does dating serve? I can't see a SINGLE thing dating does that being friends with and spending time with the opposite sex can't!

if i ever date..i will date someone ive known for a while,have really grown close to and become friends with. but im still call it dating..even if we're just friends spending time together. its more like spending time with someone who you like [more then a friend] and would like to get to know them more and more to see if your really meant for each other.

[The Top Crusader]

What purpose does dating serve? I can't see a SINGLE thing dating does that being friends with and spending time with the opposite sex can't!

if i ever date..i will date someone ive known for a while,have really grown close to and become friends with. but im still call it dating..even if we're just friends spending time together. its more like spending time with someone who you like [more then a friend] and would like to get to know them more and more to see if your really meant for each other.

PK summed up pretty much what I think in that regard...

[Baragon]

No, but IMO, some are acting like they're mature enought to seek out a relationship with no parent / adult involvment or counsel.

Yes, and that's a huge mistake. As strange as it may seem, parents do know a lot. They're wise people, their advice needs heeded.

with being "alone"....I also agree that a young man and young woman can be in a room together (not a bedroom) without problems....

We've always had a rule in our house: No people of the opppsite sex in bedrooms. I used to wonder why we had that rule (When I was 10) but as I've gotten older, I realize my mom was quite wise in making that rule. Not only are you getting rid of the temptation, but you're getting rid of the appearance of evil issue, too.

Agreed (see I'm not THAT hard to agree with ).

That's shocking.

Though in my case if things do progress my bf will end up asking either my pastor or an elder from my church. Due to various things my future spouse (whoever God decides that will be) can't ask my dad, and my mom is too far away for her to really know the young man in question, in my case (and other young ladies like myself), the young man would be asking an adult who knows me as well as my parents would know me.

I just wanted to say that I think that's pretty neat (I.e., asking at least some adult from church).

Theater.....not that I'm against quality entertainment.....but movies just aren't my thing (and there are plenty that would agree with me) because the whole idea of courting (or dating if you choose to do so) is to get to know the person you're with.....kinda hard to talk and get to know each other in a theatre......much better to sit in the living room at home and put in a tape or DVD Then talk and watch your movie at the same time

That makes a great point, too. On another issue, I'd never go a drive-in movie with a date. That just doesn't go over too well with me (the appearance and the reputation given to such things). Even though I'm probably considered a liberal, that draws the line for me.

and I don't care how well the young woman and man know each other, I would prefer to see that someone else (ie,. and adult) is at least in the house, even if they are in a different room

Exactly. Excellent point. I don't care for the idea of two people being alone in a house. It just looks bad.

if i ever date..i will date someone ive known for a while,have really grown close to and become friends with. but im still call it dating..even if we're just friends spending time together. its more like spending time with someone who you like [more then a friend] and would like to get to know them more and more to see if your really meant for each other.

Good post! I agree.

[gimp80995]

No, but IMO, some are acting like they're mature enought to seek out a relationship with no parent / adult involvment or counsel.

Yes, and that's a huge mistake. As strange as it may seem, parents do know a lot. They're wise people, their advice needs heeded.

Woah....parents....know a lot SHOCKING

Agreed (see I'm not THAT hard to agree with ).

That's shocking.

Indeed.

Though in my case if things do progress my bf will end up asking either my pastor or an elder from my church. Due to various things my future spouse (whoever God decides that will be) can't ask my dad, and my mom is too far away for her to really know the young man in question, in my case (and other young ladies like myself), the young man would be asking an adult who knows me as well as my parents would know me.

I just wanted to say that I think that's pretty neat (I.e., asking at least some adult from church).

Well, the pastor and both the head elder the assistant head elder in my church know me fairly well, though the assistant head elder knows me a little more personally as we've had more inneraction.....I've been seeking their advice (and the advice of a friend's parents whom I trust) regarding the relationship....and believe me, the pastor or elder would be much easier to talk to / ask permission than my mom

and I don't care how well the young woman and man know each other, I would prefer to see that someone else (ie,. and adult) is at least in the house, even if they are in a different room

Exactly. Excellent point. I don't care for the idea of two people being alone in a house. It just looks bad.

Woah! We agree again! :shocked:

Peace Out

-Gimp

[Jennifer Doyle]

I agree with these points already made:

-- Parental permission/consent before dating/marriage

-- Group "dating" preferable to one on one dating

and

-- being alone in a car is usually not a good idea [moving, parked, drive-in, anytime!]

--no person of opposite-sex in bedroom (or in our house, allowed in the house when parents are not home. Not counting siblings.)


My dad too will show any potential husband how his [my dad's] shotgun works. Or worse, the whole gun collection.

[The Top Crusader]

True, I'm glad (for when I'm a father) that they passed that law that allows murder in the case of fresh boys!

[gimp80995]

My dad too will show any potential husband how his [my dad's] shotgun works. Or worse, the whole gun collection.

True, I'm glad (for when I'm a father) that they passed that law that allows murder in the case of fresh boys!

LOL, I had to crack up at that.....though when I'm a mother, I'll probably be thinking the same thing.


Peace Out

-Gimp

[MDB17]

I don't know that I 100% agree, but I think it is awesome for someone to wait until they are married for their first kiss--that would certainly make it memoriable! Not that I would know anything about kissing... but anyway, I just want to clarify, by alone in the car do you mean totally not at all, or just "parked"?

hey i probally wont have i chance to kiss till marrige and that could be a looooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnng time.

[AIO Psyche]

True, I'm glad (for when I'm a father) that they passed that law that allows murder in the case of fresh boys!

Let us just hope that you have a daughter.

[Jonathan]

*LBG weighs in on the subject*

The number one word I'd use to describe dating in the sense it is used in our world today would be: pointless.

I've argued against dating, but specifically dating as teens and preteens, on another Christian board. A few of the pros of dating were, "Dating in high school helps you prepare for 'the real world.'" and "It gives you experience, and helps you know how to act when you're in a serious relationship later in life."

Watson said something I really liked, "All this 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend' stuff is annoying. Why? Because it demonstrates a wrong attitude toward marriage. Dating seems to trivialize it, and unfortunately, it allows for "experimentation" that EB alluded.

Dr. Laura said, "Dating is practice for divorce." I think she's totally correct. In the typical secular and [more and more] Christian preteen and teen relationships, you date someone when you are romantically attracted to them. We all know that those feelings do not last forever, they fade away. And when you are dating someone and you aren't romantically attracted to them anymore, why date them anymore? So you dump the person or the person dumps you. And you move on to your next relationship.

A common enough reason that people cheat on their spouses or get divorces is because they "aren't in love anymore". Like Love is something they slipped into, got married, but when they pick themselves up and dry off, they can get a divorce.

I am 17 years old and [like I think I said before] I've never dated. I believe I'm a fairly intelligent person. I think I'm well rounded, I have a good family and church family, I love God. I don't consider myself out of touch with the world or less of a person because I've never dated or had a romantic relationship. But I think that's what our schools and media and culture in general is telling us.

This new movie, "The 40 year old virgin" is disgusting. The main character is a man who hasn't slept with anyone and his friends are going to "fix it" for him. That's the kind of culture we live in. If you haven't dated or had sex by the time you're 14, you're a weirdo and probably too sheltered. It bugs me something fierce, but I'm watching my friends from youth group go through their 3 week long relationships with kids at school and then they are heartbroken and then repeat the process...


What purpose does dating serve? I can't see a SINGLE thing dating does that being friends with and spending time with the opposite sex can't!

Long I know...I was trying to keep it novel size!

Couldn't have said it better myself; I agree with absolutely everything you said.

Dating doesn't make sense to me. Probably never will.

-Jonathan

[mr. mellow]

dating makes sence to me. if you love somone deaply and they love you deaply back then you take the first step by dating. if you should cuntinued to be friends then it would be wierd it would feel like you wern't going anywhere in your relateshinship. if your not going out then you cant enjoy the privileges of dating somone

[Frank]

Let's remember ya'll, are you really ready for marriage? That's what dating should lead to, right? If you're not at the marriage age and are not spiritually and physically mature enough to take on married life, then why should you go forward with your crushes? Is it for your enjoyment? Is it for God's? Remember your first love people...God's still there.

[Jennifer Doyle]

dating makes sence to me. if you love somone deaply and they love you deaply back then you take the first step by dating. if you should cuntinued to be friends then it would be wierd it would feel like you wern't going anywhere in your relateshinship. if your not going out then you cant enjoy the privileges of dating somone

So dating is if you already love someone? By love do you mean 1 Cor 13 love or "you-are-so-hot-I-want-to-kiss-you" love?? Because I sure as hay don't see much 1 Cor 13 love in teen and preteen relationships...or many secular adult relationships.

And if you love someone, remaining friends with them isn't good enough? You have to go further to "enjoy the priviledges of dating". What priviledges exactly? Kissing? Holding hands? Going further?

More reasons, in my mind, that dating is a hugely BAD idea.

[gimp80995]

Ya know.....after today, I can fully sympathize with any of you young men here who are "old-fashoined" and will eventually be asking a young lady's father for her hand in marriage.....

Due to some communication errors, my bf and I went to each other's church......as in he went to my church and I went to his church.......I ended up having lunch (potluck) at church with his parents.....yes, I felt like the whole family was "interrogating" me . Though remembering some advice from a friend to "be yourself" helped cuz as soon as I started being myself it was like having lunch with my own family........found out later that he was going through the same "interrogation" with the elders and pastor at my church. It would appear the elders and pastor at my church approve of him and his folks and siblings approve of me

Even though it was (at first) a heart-pounding experience, I like talking to his parents......after all they've spent the past 25 years with the guy, so in talking to me, no doubt they know even better than we do at our young, immature age if things would likely work out between the two of us.

So, yeah I can sympathize with you guys.........but also it is true that parents (even the parents of your bf / gf ) really aren't THAT bad or horrible......they can be pretty cool if ya give 'em a chance.


Peace Out

-Gimp

[Eugene Blackgaard]

Well, I really, and sadly, have not the time to read all of this, but I must say a lot of you are wiser than I thought people on the ToO would be.

I'll address one issue, tough, as for "Touching" on dating/courting/night-courting (lovethatshow) I resort to a very good source! It's a wonderfull book written by a delightful fellow, goes by the name of God.

"Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband." (1 Corinthians 7:1-2, KJV)

Now, what this verse is NOT saying is, well, exactly what it is saying. The basic interpreation of the text. Guys, if you and Susie Q brush elbows in the hall you DON'T need to wash in the Jordan 7 times for purification. Girls don't have "sin cooties".

What it IS saying is, we should not do ANYTHING that would start a fire. Touch a woman in any way that would get desire going, start a love fire. I believe this goes for kissing, holding hands, etc. Something done without care or thought in WAY to many christian youth circles. I've seen it happenn with my friends, and they've had to learn the hard way. Just because hollywood SCREAMS at us it's normal and allright every day it dosen't change the truth of the word of Jehova.

That is all, for now.

-Eugene Blackgaard

[Laura Ingalls]

^ Very good post EB. I totally agree.

[gimp80995]

Well, I really, and sadly, have not the time to read all of this, but I must say a lot of you are wiser than I thought people on the ToO would be.

Don't worry.....we make every effort to NOT show this wise and mature side very often.........but occasionally it slips out j/k.......sorta

Well, on occasion we can be mature, but usually that involves being serious..........which is something most AIO fans don't appear to be too good at.........it happens now and then, but generally we like to be laid-back and have fun.


Peace Out

-Gimp