I write this post with tears in my eyes. My best friend in the entire world, is moving away. I have already cried until there are no more tears left to cry. I feel so low right now, I don't know if I can get any lower. Please pray for me, as well as my friend and her family that it won't be as painful as it is. Thank you all. Also, I have decided what my parting gift to her is; a cd with the clip of Whit saying, "The best is yet to come."
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The 'cheer me up' thread.
My best friend is moving away, and I need some laughs.
-
AIO Psyche
- Geniune Disney Cast Member
- Posts: 2126
- Joined: April 2005
- Location: Orlando, Florida
- Contact:
The 'cheer me up' thread.
Last edited by AIO Psyche on Mon Aug 21, 2006 8:08 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Is she moving far away? Well there's still e-mail.-
AIO Psyche
- Geniune Disney Cast Member
- Posts: 2126
- Joined: April 2005
- Location: Orlando, Florida
- Contact:
She's moving 5 hours away to another state. I'm trying to convince her to join the TOO so we can chat often. Ok, change of thread. I need something happy and funny to get my mind of......this. Just post soemthing funny, radon humor, and off the wall jokes. I'll go first. Here's my collection I posted over at the TH. Read, then post your own.
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Ways to have fun
* Adjust the tint on your tv so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way".
* Drum on every available surface.
* Staple papers in the middle of the page.
* Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
* Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
* Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip...
* Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.
* Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
* Pay for your dinner with pennies.
* Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
* Light road flares on a birthday cake.
* Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
* Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador".
* Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
* Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
* Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
* Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.
* Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
* Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
* Stare at static on the tv and claim you can see a "magic picture".
* Resend humorous e-mail messages to the person who sends them to you.
* Leave all headers and footnotes on forwarded jokes.
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Top Ten Ways to Freak Out Your Roommate
10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names.
Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato
from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's
potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, ''He just didn't
belong.''
9) Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate
if he knows how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor
on the empty side of the room with concern.
8 ) Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger every
day. Look at it and say, ''The hair, it's growing. Growing!''
7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're
doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, ''Soon, soon....''
6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the
room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at
the pencil.
5) Tell your roommate, ''I've got an important message for
you.'' Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't
remember what the message was. Later on, say, ''Oh, yeah, I
remember!'' Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several
weeks.
4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling.
When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head,
and moan.
3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore
the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then
say, ''Hey, where the heck is my sandwich!?'' Complain loudly
that you are hungry.
2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, ''Hooray! You're
back!'' as loud as you can and dance around the room for five
minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying,
''Shouldn't you be going somewhere?''
1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act
offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to
clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."
In an elevator:
when the door closes, grab the nearest person and yell, "ITS OK! THEY WILL OPEN AGAIN!"
make a beeping noise every 3 seconds...don't move
open purse and whisper, "Got enough air?"
wisper to the nearest person, "I've got gas" and giggle.
push every button on the way down.
As above, make a loud WOOSHHH when the door opens
In a bathroom:
Drop a marble on the floor, make shure it rolls into the next stall and yell, "MY EYE!! MY GLASS EYE FELL OUT!"
Drive up to a Mc.Donalds and say to the person at the drive through window and order a Whopper. start complaining that you had your heart set on a whopper then threaten to call their boss. then say ..........this is BURGERKING RIGHT??
(beforehand put your sunglasses on top of your head) In sist that sombody stole your sunglasses that were right next to you they were worht alot of money. if somebody tells you they were on there head say NO i never put them there!! Yell at them. Then go to the bathroom/a nother room. put them on and when they say i told you so. Deny everything even that you werre missing the sunglasses.
Set your alarm clock on the loudest ring @ 12 midnight and claim to your room mate who yells at you.....What? i got a bladder problem thats why i switched our beds............lol
Go to the library and ask the libriarian for some books on how to cure your pet naked mole rats fungus on its nose. when she says she dosent have a book like that say i said i was looking for a book on dog training. What were you thinking ofhuhhuh
Call your parents @ 330 a.m and start singing happy birth day to yourself on the answering machine ........dont disguise your voice (also not on your birthday either)
Go to a petstore and start saying loudly to the animals ...for instance a frog- "If i give you a wittle smoochie will you turn into a wittle princie for me?" say it in a babyish voice. cat-start singing the meowmix song very loudly in its face. dog- "they say a dog is a mans best friend but man in china they surly dont think that they EAT dogs"....... then start saying a recipe for corndogs out loud. Include the hotdog and corn meal" then say oh what are hot dogs made out of any wayhuh go to the owner of the store and ask her if hotdogs are made out of dogs.
Call up people and leave cryptic messages on their answering machine. "The marshmallows are in the kitty box with string."
Make a poster and put it up on a wall: "LOST ANTEATER. Name: Chippers Height: 9". Brown with a white spot on his tail. Reward: $200,000."
Do not leave any way for them to contact the owner.
Say to someone that isn't talking, "Dude, be quiet!" If they say they didn't say anything, then say, "Really? . . . gosh... that's weird...I could've sworn I heard something. . . . . . <look at your watch> Well, it looks like about time to take my medicine!"
# Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99
copies.
# Specify that your drive through order is "to go."
# If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking
to others.
# Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
# Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather
conditions "to keep them tuned up."
# Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
# Practice making fax and modem noises.
# Highlight irrelevant information on scientific papers and "cc" them to your
boss.
# Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
# Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy."
# Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
# Disassemble your pen and "accidently" flip the ink cartridge across the
room.
# Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
# Adjust the tint on your TV so all the people are green, and insist to others
that you "like it that way."
# Staple papers in the middle of the page.
# Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
# Honk and wave to strangers.
# Decline to be seated at a restaurant and simply eat their complimentary
mints by the cash register.
# Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and re- route whole streets.
Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."
# Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your
chin.
# When nearly done, announce, "No wait, I messed it up" and repeat.
# As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
# Ask people what gender they are.
# While making a presentation, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
# Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars and see if they
slow down.
# Sing along at the opera.
# Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
# Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in
a notebook.
# Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
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Ways to have fun
* Adjust the tint on your tv so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way".
* Drum on every available surface.
* Staple papers in the middle of the page.
* Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
* Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
* Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip...
* Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.
* Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
* Pay for your dinner with pennies.
* Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
* Light road flares on a birthday cake.
* Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
* Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador".
* Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
* Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
* Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
* Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.
* Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
* Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
* Stare at static on the tv and claim you can see a "magic picture".
* Resend humorous e-mail messages to the person who sends them to you.
* Leave all headers and footnotes on forwarded jokes.
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Top Ten Ways to Freak Out Your Roommate
10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names.
Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato
from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's
potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, ''He just didn't
belong.''
9) Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate
if he knows how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor
on the empty side of the room with concern.
8 ) Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger every
day. Look at it and say, ''The hair, it's growing. Growing!''
7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're
doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, ''Soon, soon....''
6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the
room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at
the pencil.
5) Tell your roommate, ''I've got an important message for
you.'' Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't
remember what the message was. Later on, say, ''Oh, yeah, I
remember!'' Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several
weeks.
4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling.
When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head,
and moan.
3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore
the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then
say, ''Hey, where the heck is my sandwich!?'' Complain loudly
that you are hungry.
2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, ''Hooray! You're
back!'' as loud as you can and dance around the room for five
minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying,
''Shouldn't you be going somewhere?''
1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act
offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to
clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."
In an elevator:
when the door closes, grab the nearest person and yell, "ITS OK! THEY WILL OPEN AGAIN!"
make a beeping noise every 3 seconds...don't move
open purse and whisper, "Got enough air?"
wisper to the nearest person, "I've got gas" and giggle.
push every button on the way down.
As above, make a loud WOOSHHH when the door opens
In a bathroom:
Drop a marble on the floor, make shure it rolls into the next stall and yell, "MY EYE!! MY GLASS EYE FELL OUT!"
Drive up to a Mc.Donalds and say to the person at the drive through window and order a Whopper. start complaining that you had your heart set on a whopper then threaten to call their boss. then say ..........this is BURGERKING RIGHT??
(beforehand put your sunglasses on top of your head) In sist that sombody stole your sunglasses that were right next to you they were worht alot of money. if somebody tells you they were on there head say NO i never put them there!! Yell at them. Then go to the bathroom/a nother room. put them on and when they say i told you so. Deny everything even that you werre missing the sunglasses.
Set your alarm clock on the loudest ring @ 12 midnight and claim to your room mate who yells at you.....What? i got a bladder problem thats why i switched our beds............lol
Go to the library and ask the libriarian for some books on how to cure your pet naked mole rats fungus on its nose. when she says she dosent have a book like that say i said i was looking for a book on dog training. What were you thinking ofhuhhuh
Call your parents @ 330 a.m and start singing happy birth day to yourself on the answering machine ........dont disguise your voice (also not on your birthday either)
Go to a petstore and start saying loudly to the animals ...for instance a frog- "If i give you a wittle smoochie will you turn into a wittle princie for me?" say it in a babyish voice. cat-start singing the meowmix song very loudly in its face. dog- "they say a dog is a mans best friend but man in china they surly dont think that they EAT dogs"....... then start saying a recipe for corndogs out loud. Include the hotdog and corn meal" then say oh what are hot dogs made out of any wayhuh go to the owner of the store and ask her if hotdogs are made out of dogs.
Call up people and leave cryptic messages on their answering machine. "The marshmallows are in the kitty box with string."
Make a poster and put it up on a wall: "LOST ANTEATER. Name: Chippers Height: 9". Brown with a white spot on his tail. Reward: $200,000."
Do not leave any way for them to contact the owner.
Say to someone that isn't talking, "Dude, be quiet!" If they say they didn't say anything, then say, "Really? . . . gosh... that's weird...I could've sworn I heard something. . . . . . <look at your watch> Well, it looks like about time to take my medicine!"
# Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99
copies.
# Specify that your drive through order is "to go."
# If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking
to others.
# Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
# Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather
conditions "to keep them tuned up."
# Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
# Practice making fax and modem noises.
# Highlight irrelevant information on scientific papers and "cc" them to your
boss.
# Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
# Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy."
# Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
# Disassemble your pen and "accidently" flip the ink cartridge across the
room.
# Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
# Adjust the tint on your TV so all the people are green, and insist to others
that you "like it that way."
# Staple papers in the middle of the page.
# Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
# Honk and wave to strangers.
# Decline to be seated at a restaurant and simply eat their complimentary
mints by the cash register.
# Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and re- route whole streets.
Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."
# Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your
chin.
# When nearly done, announce, "No wait, I messed it up" and repeat.
# As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
# Ask people what gender they are.
# While making a presentation, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
# Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars and see if they
slow down.
# Sing along at the opera.
# Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
# Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in
a notebook.
# Mutter something about "psychological profiles."