Funny Poems

Christian Cowgirl · Post by **Christian Cowgirl** » Tue Apr 19, 2005 4:39 pm

I often contradict myself.
Oh no, I never do.
I argue with me day and night.
That simply isnt true.

Oh yes it is. Oh no it's not.
I do this all day long.
Oh no I don't. Oh yes I do.
That's right. No way! It's wrong.

I'm really quite agreeable.
I argue night and day.
I love to be around myself.
I wish I'd go away.

So if you see me arguing,
it's certain that you won't.
I like to contradict myself
I promise that I don't.
~Kenn Nesbitt

Post by **Catspaw** » Tue Apr 19, 2005 5:03 pm

That's cute! $\:D/$ Somewhat pointless, but still fun.

Larry The Pickle · Post by **Larry The Pickle** » Tue Apr 19, 2005 5:22 pm

I actually enjoyed that.

Christian Cowgirl · Post by **Christian Cowgirl** » Thu Apr 21, 2005 3:49 pm

(I'm always in parentheses)
(which makes me hard to hear)
(regardless if I'm yelling loud)
(or if you're leaning near.)
(It sounds as if I'm whispering)
(my voice is just a squeek)
(and even if I scream and shout)
(it comes out soft and meek.)
(Parentheses imprison me)
(they hold me like a jail.)
(I try to break these tiny curves)
(but every time I fail.)
(I'm sick of these parentheses,)
(these little muffling arcs.)
I WISH I WAS IN CAPITALS
WITH EXCLAMATION MARKS!!!!

Larry The Pickle · Post by **Larry The Pickle** » Thu Apr 21, 2005 4:39 pm

Not bad.

dancer02248 · Post by **dancer02248** » Thu Apr 21, 2005 5:49 pm

I really liked the first one... and the second one wasn't bad either. Where'd you find those??

Christian Cowgirl · Post by **Christian Cowgirl** » Thu Apr 21, 2005 7:36 pm

dancer02248 wrote:I really liked the first one... and the second one wasn't bad either. Where'd you find those??

Friend of mine

dancer02248 · Post by **dancer02248** » Thu Apr 21, 2005 7:37 pm

Very cool... got any others to share with us??

Christian Cowgirl · Post by **Christian Cowgirl** » Thu Apr 21, 2005 7:41 pm

Just one more.

I like to pretend to be like myself.
It's harder than you would suppose.
I frequently say things that I would say.
I often will wear my own clothes.

I put on my sneakers and brush my hair
exactly the way that I'd do,
and sometimes I wear my own underwear
and no one has even a clue.
walk just exactly the way I'd walk
and go to the places I'd go.
I play with the people who play with me
and say things that only I'd know.

I do a remarkable job sometimes
and everyone thinks that I'm me.
They can't tell that really I'm not myself,
but only pretending to be.
So next time you see me I might not be
the person you think that you see.
I often pretend to be like myself.
It's fun to pretend to be me.

Trent DeWhite · Post by **Trent DeWhite** » Thu Apr 21, 2005 8:23 pm

Abort, Retry, Ignore

Once upon a midnight dreary,
Fingers cramped and vision bleary,
System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor,
Longing for the warmth of bedsheets,
Still I sat here doing spreadsheets:
Having reached the bottom line, I took a floppy from the drawer.

Typing with a steady hand,
I then invoked the "save" command
But got instead a reprimand: it read, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"
Was this some occult illusion?
Some manacal type intrusion?
These were choices Solomon himself had never faced before.

Carefully I weighed my options...
These three seemed to be the top ones.
Clearly I must now adopt one; choose: Abort, Retry, Ignore?
With my fingers pale and trembling
Slowly toward the keyboard bending,
Longing for a happy ending, hoping all would be restored

Praying for some guarantee,
Finally I pressed a key.
But what on the screen did I see? Again "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"
I tried to catch the chips off guard -
I pressed again, but twice as hard,
But luck was just not on the cards, I saw what I had seen before.

Now I typed in desperation
Trying random combinations.
Still there came the incantation "Abort, Retry, Ignore."
There I sat, distraught, exhausted,
By my own machine accosted
getting up, I turned away and paced across the office floor.

And then I saw an awful sight
A bold and blinding flash of light
A lightening bolt that cut the night, and shook me to my very core.
The PC screen collapsed and died.
"OH NO! MY DATABASE!" I cried.
I heard a distant voice reply, "You'll see your spreadsheets...nevermore!"

To this day I do not know
The place to which our data goes.
perhaps it goes to heaven, where the angels have it stored.
But as for Productivity, well,
I fear this has gone straight to Hell.
And that's the tale I have to tell - your choice: Abort, Retry, Ignore.

-----

Poor guy

Christian Cowgirl · Post by **Christian Cowgirl** » Fri Apr 22, 2005 7:13 am

Happy Birthday
I've got a lot of presents
that I'd like to give to you.
I'll give you all my Brussels sprouts
and all my liver too.

I'll give you all my gym socks
when they really start to stink.
I'll give you all my pens when
they are running out of ink.

I'll give you all my broken toys
and empty jars of paste.
I'll give you all my bubble gum
that's chewed and lost its taste.

I'll give you all the dust balls that
I found beneath my bed.
I'll give you all my batteries
as soon as they are dead.

So have a happy birthday,
you're a special friend indeed,
and please accept this trash can
full of stuff that I don't need.

Larry The Pickle · Post by **Larry The Pickle** » Fri Apr 22, 2005 9:57 am

Those last three were just great!