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 Post Post subject: The Homeschooler's Union Newspaper
Posted: Tue Aug 01, 2006 9:59 am 
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The Homeschooler's Union Newspaper
The One and Only Faction Newspaper

August, 2006 - NatetheGreat, Editor - Edition #3
_____________________________________________________________
Wanted: Friends (Part 3)
-Karen Doyle, THUN Writer

Kenny's heart sunk all the way to his feet. Oh no![/i]
"Uh, hi Jimmy." Kenny answered.
"Hey, I was wondering...do you like baseball?" Jimmy asked.
"Yes, I do," Kenny said, wondering why Jimmy would need to know that.
"I have some tickets for a baseball game. My uncle's taking me, and he said I could bring a friend," said Jimmy. "Would you like to come?"
"Just a minute. Let me ask mom," said Kenny, covering the mouthpiece of the phone. "Mom?"
"Yes lad?" mom looked up from her book.
"Jimmy's on the phone."
"Jimmy?" Mom asked, looking confused.
"Yeah. Him and his mom and his sister were at the Cosmo-sphere field trip."
"Oh yes." Mom said, her face lighting in recognition. "What does he want?"
"He wants me to go to a baseball game with him," Kenny replied.
"I think you should, Kenny," Mom said gently. "You'll never get to know anyone if you don't do things with others. Accept his offer, lad. You'll have fun. I know you will!"
Kenny nodded reluctantly and spoke into the phone. "Jimmy?"
"Yeah?"
"Mom said I could go," Kenny said.
"Great!" Jimmy answered, sounding really happy. "My uncle and I will pick you up tomorrow at 6:30. The baseball game will be played at the Lawrence Dumont Stadium (baseball stadium in Wichita)"
"Okay. See you then. G'bye" Kenny said, hanging up the phone. Oh no. Kenny thought. Now he'll find a chance to bully me!

The next evening, Kenny heard a car horn and looked out the window. "They're here, Mom!" he said.
"All right laddie. Don't forget your jacket," she said, smiling.
"Bye Mom," Kenny said, kissing his mom on the cheek.
"Have fun, laddie. I'm sure Jimmy is a very nice boy."

"Hi Kenny!" Jimmy greeted him cheerfully.
"Hi," Kenny answered warily.
" Kenny, this is my Uncle Matt. Uncle Matt, this is Kenny. He just moved to Wichita."
"Hi Kenny," Matt said with a warm smile.
"Hi Mr. Matt," Kenny answered, with a half-hearted smile.

When it had come close to the end of the baseball game, Kenny was starting to think that maybe Jimmy wasn't a bully after all.
"Kenny? Is something wrong?" Jimmy asked.
Kenny jumped. "Uh...why do you ask?"
"'Cause you were staring at me. Is something wrong?" Jimmy repeated.
"I was just thinking. Jimmy? Do you mind if I ask you something?"
"Of course not! Ask away!" Jimmy grinned.
"Do you like to bully people?"
Jimmy started and blinked in surprise. "Bully people? No! I could never bully anyone! I don't like to see people bullying others! Why do you ask?"
Kenny shrugged. "When I first saw you, I thought you were a bully."
Jimmy laughed, and then grew quiet for a minute. "What made you think that?" he asked quietly.
"Well, you looked really mad. And when you said something, you sounded really sullen - like a bully."
"Oh," Jimmy said. "Well, I have an explanation for that. You see, I play baseball, and the night before our field trip to the Cosmo-sphere I had a big game. Uncle Matt had promised that he would come to see me play. But he wasn't there! He hadn't called to say he wasn't coming, so I got kind of mad at him and I thought that he had forgotten about the game. So when we got to the Cosmo-sphere, I was still mad. But then Uncle Matt called me and told me what happened and invited me to this baseball game."
"I'm so glad you're not a bully!" Kenny exclaimed.
"So am I!" Jimmy grinned. "'Cause I can already tell that we'll be the best of friends!"

"Did you have fun, laddie?" Mom asked Kenny when he got home.
"Yes! And I have a new friend!" Kenny said with a grin.


The End
_____________________________________________________________
10 Ways Not to be a Newbie
-NatetheGreat, THUN Reporter

1. First off, don’t start topics such as “Wanna talk???” If you want to talk live, a MB’s not the place for you. Move to a chat room, or if you want to talk with a specific member, PM them, or use an instant messenger such as WLM or !IM.
2. Try to keep posts at least two sentences long. It’s not worth peoples time to have to read posts such as “Yeah,” “Ditto,” or “So do I.”
3. uz spil chik hwen evaar posibl teh Google toolbar caan mak tis afst & EZee
4. DON’T TALK IN ALL CAPS or use excessive punctuation/smileys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :x :x :x :x
5. Never PM people asking for money, etc. This is very annoying and completely uncalled for. No one wants to have to reply to a PM saying something like “I NEED money!!!!!!!!” It’s like trying to put a guilt trip on someone in the hope for gain.
6. Never change the topic mid-topic.
7. Before posting in a thread, always read the whole topic. This can prevent five people asking the same question.
8. Always remember to check what forum/sub-forum you are in before you post a topic.
9. Never double-post. The “Edit” button is there for a reason.
10. And last but not least, be nice. This sounds very simple, but is a good rule of thumb for all. Remember: Things in type sound twice as harsh as they would normally. If you feel insulted, don’t strike back. If you don’t feed the fire, it usually dies out pretty fast.
_____________________________________________________________
The Monthly Funnies
-BlackHawk, THUN Reporter

A blonde goes to a doctor because both of her ears are burnt. “Sit down and tell me how it happened,” says the doctor.

“Well, I was ironing my clothes when I received a call and instead of picking the phone I picked up the iron and burnt my ear.”
“'But that's one ear - what about the other?”

“The guy called again!”

-----

Real Stories of the Non-Technical

I called a company and asked to speak to Bob. The person who answered said, "Bob is on vacation. Would you like to hold?"
I worked with an individual who plugged their power strip back into itself and for the life of them could not understand why their computer would not turn on.

-----

"Do you know anything about this fax-machine?"

"A little. What's wrong?"

"Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say all she received was a cover-sheet and a blank page. I tried it again, and the same thing happened."

"How did you load the sheet?"

"It's a pretty sensitive memo, and I didn't want anyone else to read it by accident. So I folded it so only the recipient could open it and read it."

-----

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked.

"I knew I should have replaced the battery in this remote control door unlock-er. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think that store would have a battery for this?"

"Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked.

"No, just this remote," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me.

As I took the keys and manually unlocked the door, I said, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries? It's a long walk."

-----

Tech Support: What does the screen say now?
Caller: It says 'Hit ENTER when ready.'
Tech Support: Well?
Caller: How do I know when it's ready?

-----

A man moved to New Mexico and called his credit company to change his address. When he told the girl where he was moving, she told him that she couldn't help him since they didn't issue cards outside of the United States!

-----

My friend called his car insurance company to tell them to change his address from Texas to Vermont. The woman who took the call asked where Vermont was. As he tried to explain, she interrupted and said, "Look, I'm not stupid or anything, but what state is it in?"

-----

Several years ago, we had an intern who was none too swift. One day, he was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?"

"Just use copier machine paper," she told him.

With that, the intern took his last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.

-----

One of our servers crashed. I was watching our new system administrator trying to restore it. He inserted a CD and needed to type a path name to a directory named "i386."

He started to type it and paused, asking me, "Where's the key for that line thing?"

I asked what he was talking about, and he said, "You know, that one that looks like an upside-down exclamation mark."

I replied, "You mean the letter 'i'?"

And he said, "Yeah, that's it!"

-----

I was in a car dealership a while ago when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like it had been an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the cruise control, and then went in back to make a sandwich.
_____________________________________________________________
Editor:
NatetheGreat

Reporters:
Black Hawk
Karin Doyle
Hakeber

Proof Reader:
danadelfos

Graphics Design:
Samwise

The Homeschooler’s Union, ©2006

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Posted: Tue Aug 01, 2006 5:56 pm 
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Wow, that was a really good edition! \:D/ Karin, I really enjoyed the happy ending to your story! :D Nate, the article about how not the be a bad newbie was really good. You had a really good list of things for people to look out for! :yes: All those jokes that were found by BlackHawk were quite funny! :lol: I loved the powerbar one! Thanks to everybody who worked on this paper! \:D/

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Posted: Tue Aug 01, 2006 7:45 pm 
I post like Shadowpaw
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May I also suggest "Lurk before you leap" as another way not to be a newbie? And now I have met rule two.


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Posted: Tue Aug 01, 2006 8:53 pm 
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:lol: I loved that second sentence, Itaque - it added much depth to your post. And now I have also met rule two. \:D/

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Posted: Wed Aug 02, 2006 12:47 pm 
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Itaque wrote:
May I also suggest "Lurk before you leap" as another way not to be a newbie? And now I have met rule two.


*wishes he had thought of that before he published the newspaper* :anxious: lol, yes, sometimes I think one sentance expresses a thought fine, but it's always better to have over one sentance. :) And you'd be surprised how much info you can add to a seamingly small post, like, you could have added a sentance on why it's better to "lurk before you leap." \:D/

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Posted: Thu Aug 24, 2006 7:44 am 
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You're article deffinately took the cake on this edition. Excelent piece of work. (I'm working hard not to be a newbie):D

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Posted: Fri Sep 01, 2006 5:03 am 
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nice work! \:D/

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Posted: Wed Sep 20, 2006 7:09 pm 
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I just spent entirely too long looking through my old posts. o.o

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I really enjoyed those jokes. And thank you for those rules about not being newbies, I will try hard not to break them. :D

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