The Town of Odyssey

The Odyssey Tattler: Issue #1
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Author:  The Scribbler [ Fri Apr 22, 2005 2:14 pm ]
Post subject:  The Odyssey Tattler: Issue #1

Ladies and gentlmen of the TOO, I come to you with a problem. I have looked the entire TOO over, and found no newspaper that tells the truth about what's going on around here. Sure, we have the Odyssey Times, but it's all light hearted and happy. And while that is all fine and good, we also need a voice for the people. And that's where I come in. After assembling a group of writers and investigators, I now come to you, the people, to tell you that I will be your voice. My writers and I will always bring you the truth.

Now this paper will be free, but I since I, for reasons I don't know, have to pay my writers, I will need you, the people, to make donations to me so that I may continue to bring you quality articles.

Also, all of my writers will go by fake names, as to hide thier identity. That means that all the names you see are not real. The real writers are members of this message board. They are regular folks, but writing in disguise. Also, I am a member of the TOO, and have been so since it started. I am not someone who joined, then started this. So I know each and everyone of you, and odds are, you know me. But I'll never release my true identity.

Now, the first issue of the Tattler will be a special election issue, and will cover all the candidates in the race for mayor. After that, we will cover a wide range of subjects, in an effort to bring you the truth. We will have a new issue every Saturday. Our first issue is tomorrow. Be sure to be here to read our debut issue.

So ladies and gentlemen, it is my great pleasure to give you................


Author:  AIO Psyche [ Fri Apr 22, 2005 2:19 pm ]
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Wow! Cool! What a great idea! I can't wait! Oh man, how cool!

Author:  The Scribbler [ Fri Apr 22, 2005 2:23 pm ]
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Wow! Cool! What a great idea!

Yes, I'm sure you do.

Author:  Trent DeWhite [ Fri Apr 22, 2005 2:24 pm ]
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Whatever you do, don't write about me.


Author:  The Scribbler [ Fri Apr 22, 2005 2:25 pm ]
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Trent DeWhite wrote:
Whatever you do, don't write about me.


Well, in that case...........*gets pen and paper*

Author:  Dr. Watson [ Fri Apr 22, 2005 2:43 pm ]
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"Tattler, eh?"

*casts suspicious eye on Scribbler*

"I much prefer the Times, Mr. Scribbler. I prefer news, not gossip."

Author:  The Scribbler [ Fri Apr 22, 2005 2:45 pm ]
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Gossip!? Gossip you say? Well. I've never been more insulted in my life. Just wait until tomorrow. You'll see just how good my newspaper will be.

Author:  Dr. Watson [ Fri Apr 22, 2005 2:49 pm ]
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We shall see, my good man (or woman), we shall see.

Author:  Andrea Meltsner [ Fri Apr 22, 2005 2:50 pm ]
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looks at what is going on, laughs sinister laugh.... shakes head, Hey Jonathan, Get a load of this! hehehehe

Author:  Christian Cowgirl [ Fri Apr 22, 2005 3:48 pm ]
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Oo, sounds cool! Can't wait!

Author:  PonysHorses [ Fri Apr 22, 2005 3:55 pm ]
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This is going to be AWSOME!

Author:  Eugene Blackgaard [ Fri Apr 22, 2005 4:22 pm ]
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O scandal, O gossip, O foolishness! I'd bet my boots there will be something redicuosley slanderous directed at Top and I in the paper eventually. :roll:

Of course, don't think I wont have a ready retort! :hithead:

Author:  PonysHorses [ Fri Apr 22, 2005 8:09 pm ]
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Hmmm.... I wonder. :roll:

Author:  Me [ Fri Apr 22, 2005 8:23 pm ]
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Has Bart been bringing you any pics lately?

Author:  Bmuntz [ Fri Apr 22, 2005 8:30 pm ]
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Sounds like a cool idea.

Author:  Elf of Rivendell [ Sat Apr 23, 2005 7:00 am ]
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*notes speech mannerisms* In the very near future, I think I may uncover the identity of this Scribbler. If I haven't done so already. :D

Author:  The Scribbler [ Sat Apr 23, 2005 8:34 am ]
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Ok ladies and gentlemen; Today is the debut issue of the Odyssey Tattler. We (the writers and I) have slaved, sweated, and risked our lives to bring you the truth. Now, you may reap the fruits of our labor. So, it is my extreme pleasure to present to you the debut issue of The Odyssey Tattler.


Fellow members of the TOO, it is time that you hear the truth about the town of Odyssey. Sure, we have the Odyssey Times, but they only show you one side of our great town. That's where we come in.

Our promise to you: We will bring you the truth no matter what. You can count on us.

So, read the Tattler every week to hear the truth about Odyssey and the TO. This week, for our first issue, we will have a special extended, election edition. We bring you all the dirt on the candidates.

Also, every writer for the Tattler is a member here. People you know. So, the names that you see of the authors are not the writers real name. We do this for privacy reasons.

Top Story

EB and Top trying to buy the election -by Griffen

Here at The Odyssey Tattler we give you the inside scoop on the election. As you know elections can be full of scandal and deception. So what candidates are trying to buy your vote and who’s not?

Candidates were Pmed the question. If I vote and support/donate to your campaign will I get a higher paying job or modship? Mellows and Elf’s and EK and Simbelary34 just said that if you were right for the job you would get it but Top’s/EB’s campaign said something a little different. This is what they said and can be proved by Shadowpaw checking accounts.

Mysterious Reporter of the Tattler wrote:
If I Donate and support/Vote for you will I get a well paying job or a modship?

The Top Crusader: “Not only that”

Do the people of the ToO really want a team that is trying to buy there way to the seat of Mayor/Chief Of Police? I don’t think so, and if there are more talk of Top/EB’s campaign trying to buy voters then they should be forced to quit the election. What is more disturbing is that EB has said this about there campaign.

"If we win, we may see of we can not only elect a few more mods, but a few extra admins as well, like the TH. But we would not elect our friends, the people we'd want in position. We'd do it fairly by running a poll to see who the people wanted as the additional mods and admins."

So Top and EB don’t talk about there standards to each other, more liking say one thing to get votes from the public and then pay off others to vote for them. Voters should think twice before voting for them.

Warning: All is not as it seems!-by Dr. Indiana Jones

The time has come for a decision in the fair Town of Odyssey. This choice will have a long-lasting impact on both current and future citizens of the ToO. This means one thing – an investigation is in order! I decided to check out the Mellow/ Elf of Rivendell team, since they seemed to have a profusion of support, based on the banners that I saw, and some of the comments made by my fellow citizens.
The first part of my investigation involved finding out more about the potential mayor and chief of police themselves. What I discovered was shocking! Let’s begin with Mellow, or should I say, MELLOW. That’s right, Mellow is really an acronym. It stands for Macho Egotist Loudly Laments Odyssey Work. Hardly a promising start, is it? I then moved on to the next step of my investigation – some surveillance work was definitely in order! Using only a Frisbee and a spatula, I did a 24-hour stakeout of MELLOW’s house, wondering if his name was only an unhappy coincidence. It wasn’t. I witnessed a shocking incident where MELLOW demonstrated a condescending attitude towards others. He demanding that his sister get him a drink while she was studying and he was trying to write his acceptance speech as mayor. When she hesitated, in an attempt to finish a complicated math problem, he then threatened to have her hauled off to his tickle torture chamber before huffing off to the kitchen to get his own apple juice, muttering as he went. I also witnessed a conversation between MELLOW and an acquaintance. I won’t say “friend” because, due to the almost unbelievable level of arrogance that MELLOW displayed, I doubt that he has many friends. The volume level at which he spoke was also atrocious. Back in kindergarten, nobody taught MELLOW how to use his inside voice! I recorded a statement made by the potential mayor of the Town of Odyssey, and the content may be shocking. You have officially been warned. He said, and I quote, “It was better when that stupid Eugene guy was gone. Why couldn’t they have brought back the old Liz instead? She was way cooler, in that wicked mean kind of way.” Hardly comforting words to an AIO fan! MELLOW also indicated that no real work of any kind would occur if he were mayor due to what he called “anti-work/laziness issues.” Unfortunately, MELLOW then drove away in his Limo, out of the range of my spy gear.

Let’s move on the Elf of Rivendell, referred to as ELF for the rest of this article. The Evil Little Fiend (ELF) has hidden her secrets very well, and I was unable to dig deep enough in the garbage to find out what the rest of her name means. ELF is notoriously silent on many issues relating to her desire to be the chief of police of the Town of Odyssey, and that seems to be for identity protection reasons. Little information can be found about ELF’s past or present, and she definitely seems to want to keep things that way. How can we trust someone who won’t tell us much about herself? There are many secrets hiding under ELF’s façade of law-abidingness. A leader must be able to survive on one’s own merit, not on the spin-doctor attempts of one’s friends and accomplices.
I noticed an odd combination in the MELLOW/ELF campaign – their names spell ME. Apparently, they want us to think that it’s all about ME, when it really should be all about us, the voters, the citizens of the Town of Odyssey. The self-centeredness of this idea seems to be contrary to Christianity, as well as the values that a group that allegedly promotes “community” should uphold. Hypocrisy seems to abound in ME’s campaign.
After my MELLOW/ELF investigation was complete, I was exhausted! Their deviances are many, and their good points few. If the ME team is elected as mayor and chief of police in the Town of Odyssey, I may have to reconsider my citizenship.

The Tattler Spotlight

Each issue of the Tattler will feature an interview with someone on the TOO or in Odyssey. For our special election issue, we will feature interviews of both candidates running for mayor; Mellow, and The Top Crusader.

Note: From now on, TS stands for The Scribbler.

The Top Crusader interview-by The Scribbler

I started off the interview with a simple question. I could see that Top's hands were shaking and he was sweating. Most likely because I'm so intimidating.

TS-"Good afternoon, Top. How are you today?"

Top-"I'm doing great, Scribbler. Thanks for the interview."

TS-"Yes, I'm sure you are. Now, tell us a bit about what it's been like running for mayor. And don't put me to sleep."

Now at this point, I saw Top start to twiddle his thumbs nervously.

Top-"It's really an incredible experience, TS. It's great to be out there... kissing hands, shaking babies. I'm thrilled to be running with such a great running mate in Eugene Blackgaard. And I'm excited for the future of this town. The Town of Odyssey if off to a stellar start, and can only get better."

At this statement, I was taken aback. Kissing hands? Shaking babies? Clearly, either Top was simply nervous, as most people are when I talk to them, or he had something to hide.

TS-"You mean you shake babies? I think our readers will find that most interesting. Tell me Top, what do you say to rumors that your time as mayor will be filled with enslavement, torture, and a communist style government? Also, how is EB handling all this? Is he doing well? Or is he psychologicly unstable like the rumors say?"

Top-"Yes, the enslavement, torture, and communist style government is a popular rumor going around about me being mayor. Well, even if I wanted to go that route, I think Shadowpaw may step in. However, that's immaterial because I assure you, and your readers, that I have no intention to instill enslavement, torture, or communist style government. More along the lines of truth, justice, and the American Way.

Eugene Blackgaard is doing quite fine, the rumors of his psychological instability are highly exaggerated.

TS-"Interesting. So you're saying you wanted to go that route and Shadowpaw stopped you? Hmmm. What are your's and EB's feelings on having power and how to handle it?"

Top-"Heh... that's not exactly what I said, I don't think. But, anyway... a wise man once wrote, 'With great power, comes great responsibility.' I think that's something anyone in power should keep in mind. Power, rather super power, or admin power, should only be used for good, not for personal gain."

Now let's break this down for a moment. First, here is a man running for office, and he's got movies on the brain. Now, that's not a bad thing, except that who wants a leader that advertises, keeps in mind, and runs his administration, with movies? I mean come on. And why pick Spider-Man of all movies? Sure it's a good movie, but does this mean that Top, when he's mayor, will act out this movie while in office? Really. And then there's the statement "Power, rather super power, or admin power, should only be used for good, not for personal gain." Oh really? Name one person in politics that doesn't use power for a small personal gain. I mean, please. Let's be realistic.

Well, I hope that this has opened your eyes a bit to what Top is really like. BTW don't think I'm picking on Top. I just haven't had time to interview his opponent.............yet. This is The Scribbler, signing off.

The Mellow Interview-by The Scribbler

I have interviewed some pretty incredible people in my career in the journalist business. But nothing compares to the wonderful time I had interviewing Mellow, the other candidate running for mayor. Now at this point you are asking yourself; ‘Is he serious?’ And my answer, is no. This guy was really…….well, just read the interview and see for yourself.

When Mellow entered the room, I saw him flinch slightly when he saw me. As usual, my reputation proceeds me. To start off the interview, I asked him a friendly question.

TS-"Hello Mellow. How are you today?"

Mellow-"Hey Scribbler. I’m doing fine, thanks."

Now you see, I’m not one to beat around the bush, so I flat out asked him the question on everyone’s mind.

TS-"Wonderful, I’m rejoicing. Now, I'm not gonna beat around the bush. If you are elected mayor, will you use us as puppets to carry out your evil desires?"

Mellow-"First of all, your not puppets and second, I don’t have evil desires so to answerer it simply, no I won't."

A likely story. Like I’m suppose to believe that.

TS-"Ok, no need to get touchy. Sheesh. Just asking. So, tell me a bit about your running mate, Elf of Rivendale."

It is interesting to note that when I said the name of his running mate, he coughed. Imagine! Coughing! At the name of his running mate! The nerve.

Mellow-"Well, funny how me and Elf even became partners, because I admit Elf and I weren’t always the best of friends we both sorta found each other annoying. I was afraid when I saw her running that it would bring us further apart you know all the competition but instead it has done the complete opposite! So its been a pleasure to run with her since now we are friends."

TS-"Really! So, you are both at each others throats! Well, that's interesting! And do you really expect us to believe that you two are friends now!? I mean, come on. Tell the truth. Are you two friends? Or are you two secretly plotting behind each others back to have each other removed?"

Mellow-"Well, I know I'm not plotting behind her back, but I can’t talk for Elf about this one."

TS-"Well! So, Elf is plotting to kill you! That is most fascinating! Who will replace you after she gets rid of you? Or will you have her replaced before she gets rid of you? Please tell me all about your plans to get rid of her."

At this point, Mellow faked a look of shock on his face. But I knew that he was only trying to trick me into thinking he had no idea what I was talking about. It didn't work.

Mellow-"I didn't say she would be killing me, I just said that I couldn't speak on Elf’s behalf. But now that I think about it, of course she wouldn't want to over throw me!"

TS-"Why can't you talk for her? Isn't she you're running mate? So, you're saying that the reason you can't talk for her is the fact that you two don't like each other, and you have different views, and don't think the same way? Wow. That's really sad."

It was about this time that Mellow gave me a look that said, "I don’t like you." Well, I’m very used to that kind of look, so it didn’t bother me.

Mellow-"*sigh* I'm done with this interview. Nice to meet you Scribbler!"

So! He can’t handle a little questioning!

TS-"Well! Fine! Guess some people can't handle the truth. Before we finish this, is there anything you'd like to say to our readers?"

At this point, Mellow got up, and stormed out of the room. So, there you have it fair citizens of the TOO. How Mellow responds to fair, honest, simple questions. This is The Scribbler, signing off.

The true nature of TCW-by Larry The Cucumber

The Town of Odyssey recently witnessed the inauguration of "TCW". The Crooked Waitresses? No. Truly Creative Writing? Not even close. In actuality, the Top Crusader has established a wrestling institute for the physically challenged, and he has titled his organization "Top Crusader's Wrestlers." Top believes his newly formed association, launched this past Sunday, will be conducive to the frail citizens of Odyssey. "I think this has the potential to really be a great addition to the Town of Odyssey," says Top. While this certainly appears promising, few know of the founder’s true, sinister plans. Our sources say Top intends to use members of his wrestling organization to form a mob style gang in an attempt to take over Odyssey, and the TOO.

Evil Twin-by Ellis

A surprising turn of events shows that Mellow has an evil twin! Our reporters can not tell them apart. Beware of the election for mayor to be rigged!

It seems our photographer (whose name is not to be said) has captured a picture of them scanning books at the Whit’s End library to find info about throwing an election! Mellow and twin were shocked at the sight of being caught, and managed to grab the camera. As a result of being badly smashed, the picture did not turn out well, but even a casual observer can clearly tell it is in fact Mellow and twin.
Note: A few of the articles in this paper are false. Actually, most of these articles are false. Oh what the heck, every article in the paper is false, and ment for entertainment perposes only. But hey, if you beleive it, we've done our job!

Author:  AIO Psyche [ Sat Apr 23, 2005 8:46 am ]
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I'm in shock; That was/is incredible! Wow! The writers did a great job! Fantastic first issue! Keep em coming!

BTW I loved the Evil twin story! Whoever wrote that, nice job! I loved it!

Author:  Bmuntz [ Sat Apr 23, 2005 8:48 am ]
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That was good! Funny intresting a little off the deep end but still funny.

Author:  The Scribbler [ Sat Apr 23, 2005 8:52 am ]
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Fantastic first issue! Keep em coming!

Oh don't worry; we will. :badgrin:

Bmuntz wrote:
That was good! Funny intresting a little off the deep end but still funny.

Well, when you deliver the truth to the masses, you must venture into the deep ends of the world to find the truth. In this case, we went into the very deep ends.

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