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What Did You Think Of This Chapter?
It Was Totally Boring. 22%  22%  [ 2 ]
It Wasn't Boring, But It Needs A Lot Of Improvement. 11%  11%  [ 1 ]
It Was Okay. 11%  11%  [ 1 ]
It Was Pretty Darn Interesting. 22%  22%  [ 2 ]
It Was So Good That I Couldn't Stop Reading It Until I Was Finished. 33%  33%  [ 3 ]
Total votes : 9
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Posted: Tue May 15, 2007 11:00 am 
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The action continues! :D I hope that nobody accidently came along for the ride at the end of this chapter! :shock:

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Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 7:54 pm 
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I just spent entirely too long looking through my old posts. o.o

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Umm...I don't mean to Bump, but I'm hanging in suspense!!!!!

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Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2007 7:05 pm 
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I'm glad this story was bumped up...I never would have seen it otherwise. This is really good! Are you going to finish it, Movieman?

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Posted: Fri Aug 24, 2007 6:02 am 
Wants David O Piano
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I'll have a new chapter posted sometime in September. :D

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 Post Post subject: Chapter #9
Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 1:28 pm 
Wants David O Piano
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Chapter #9: Joshua & The Battle Of Jericho
As soon as I came out the other side of the portal I experienced a similar feeling to when I rode on the ferris wheel at the county fair last summer after eating a full lunch… except that it was a million times worse! It only took me a second to notice my surroundings and realize I was falling through the sky at an incredible rate. After what seemed like an eternity (but was, in reality, probably a couple of minutes), I hit what I thought was the ground. I soon figured out that I had in fact hit the surface of a gigantic river with such force that the wind was immediately knocked out of me. With barely enough time to take in a breath, I was sucked under the water by the dangerous current. I was being swept downstream at such an alarming rate that I thought I’d surely die. Fighting the current was useless; I would only be above the water for a second before the current pulled me back under.
“Lord,” I prayed, “please protect me. I’m really scared and don’t know what to do.”
As if God had decided to play a joke on me, the answer to my prayer was a rock. A rock may not seem like that good of a joke, and it became even less of a joke when it crashed into my head. What little strength I had left had been taken away by that rock. I was extremely dizzy and could feel blood gushing from the side of my head, so I just decided to give up. But of course, the second I decided to give up was the exact moment when God decided to save me.
As I was being swept down river I could feel the water getting increasingly shallow. It was only seconds before I had become beached in the middle of the river bed. I still couldn’t quite bring myself to sit up, so I just laid there, exhausted. Realizing that I could no longer deal with the pain from that rock hitting my head, I gave in to the sweet embrace of unconsciousness and passed out. Right before I passed out, I remember seeing four men carrying an ornate box made out of gold. That sight was soon pushed out of my mind as darkness overtook my mind.
I awoke later in a daze. As if by instinct, my hand quickly found its way to my head. I could feel what I only guessed to be a cloth bandage wrapped around my head. Even through the bandage I could still feel the bump that must have been where the rock hit me. Sitting up slowly, I took in my surroundings. I appeared to be in some sort of tent. There wasn’t much decoration in then tent though, just the bed that I was sitting on and a few clay pots filled with water. Through the crack in the tent flap, I could see the orange sun setting behind the mountains.
I was just about to lay back down to sleep when a giant man appeared in the tent entryway. He had to be at least 6 ½ feet tall and had a very muscular build, the kind that you only get when you spend all of your time outdoors. His face was worn with age and long sleepless nights, but there was an energetic expression of happiness that remained on his face. It was as if he was pleased with whatever was causing him so much stress.
Walking over to my bed, he knelt down beside it and placed his right hand on my chest, softly pushing me into a laying-down position.
“You must rest!” He said in a soft but very insistent tone. “It is only by the grace of God that you are alive. You need time to heal before you should even get out of bed.”
I tried to speak, but my throat hurt so much that at first nothing came out. I cleared my throat, and then tried speaking again. “Thank you for saving my life, but what exactly happened to me? Who are you? Where are we?”
“You have too many questions, young man. Allow me to answer them one at a time,” the man said in an assuring tone. “First, I have to say you must’ve been sent here by God himself. I personally witnessed you fall out of the sky in a flash of light. But, for a reason I don’t know, God decided to drop you right in the middle of the Jordan River. You surely would have drowned had it not been for the fact that we were crossing the river when you passed by us.”
“We?” I interrupted him.
“Yes,” he replied. “To answer your second question, my name is Joshua. I’m leader of the Israelites and have been leading them since my beloved mentor Moses died. As for where we are, we are on the plains of Jericho. I have been instructed by the Lord to march upon the city with his assurance that it will be handed over to me. I have full confidence that he will keep his word, so I’m obeying him and following his command.”
“How long have I been unconscious for?” I asked.
“You have been out for at least three weeks, possibly more. I apologize for not keeping track, but as you know I do lead all of the Israelites.” He said, giving me a little wink and a smile. Then, getting a more serious look on his face, he said, “If you will excuse me, I must go speak to the priests. Please stay here and rest. Once you feel better, feel free to get up and come find me.”
I waited a few seconds after he had left the tent, and then followed him. I still felt a little dizzy from my near-fatal accident, but that soon passed once I had gotten up and started moving around. Sticking my head out of the tent I could see Joshua conversing with a group of several priests.
“Take up the ark of the covenant of the Lord and have seven priests carry trumpets in front of it.” He said to a priest so ornately dressed that he had to be the head priest.
Joshua then turned around and came inside the tent, knocking me on my butt as he came through the entrance. “So you decided to ignore my suggestion and got up anyway?” he said with a chuckle. “Come, I have something to show you.” He said motioned with his left hand to follow him out of the tent.
Without a word, I followed him as he left the tent. It was only a short walk before we were standing on a ledge overlooking a valley below. In the distance I could see a city surrounded by a wall several feet high. Right below us in the valley, however, was a group of people that had to number in the thousands. Stepping forward, Joshua took a shofar that had been tied to his belt and blew it. The deep sound that came from it quickly quieted the crowd below. In just seconds they had become completely silent.
“Advance! March around the city, with the armed guard going ahead of the ark of the Lord. But do not give a war cry, do not raise your voices, do not say a word until the day I tell you to shout. Then shout!” Joshua yelled in a commanding voice to the crowd below.
You should’ve seen this site! It couldn’t have been more than five minutes before all of the Israelites had assembled and were ready to march. The speed and coordination with which they assembled could only be achieved by a group of people doing God’s will (despite their many future transgressions, which I was well aware of). I joined Joshua at the front of the procession, and without a word everyone began marching toward Jericho. During the entire march, the only thing that could be heard were thousands of feet marching and the sound of the priest’s trumpets blowing a deep baritone melody. Sure, they weren’t that musical (after all, they only had ONE note), but their sound was inspiring nonetheless. As I looked up at the walls encircling Jericho, I saw many people staring down at us wondering what we were doing. They kept turning to each other and murmuring every few seconds, as if they were trying to figure out what we were doing. No doubt there were severely puzzled by why we were marching around the wall without making a single sound or even hinting an attack on their city. After an hour or so, we finally finished our march around the city, so without any noise we returned to camp for the remainder of the day.
Once we had gotten back to camp, I went up to Joshua to ask him a question. “Joshua,” I said, “why march around the city six times? Why not just march around it once for affect, then skip right to the end so the walls will fall down?” No sooner had I finished that sentence then I realized that I had mentioned the walls falling down when, as far as I knew, he hadn’t mentioned that to me or anyone else. I held my breath in anticipation of his puzzlement at how I had known what God told him. Fortunately for me, however, he didn’t notice my mistake.
“My dear boy,” he said, “the marching isn’t the point of all of this. Attacking the city prematurely wouldn’t do any better than if we marched. The reason we’re doing it is because it’s what God commanded me to do. God told me to march around the city, so I’m trusting in him without worrying about anything else. God said the walls would fall down, so I’ll do exactly what he says until he tells me otherwise. If there are only two things that you must learn during your life, it is that if you give your entire life to God, he’ll do amazing things with it that you couldn’t possibly fathom. The other is that apart from God, we can do absolutely nothing.”
“But what if it doesn’t happen? I mean, what if God doesn’t make the city fall?” I asked.
Joshua replied, “Even if that happens, it will be God’s will. Do you think anything would happen on this earth unless God allowed it to happen? No matter if it’s the falling of a city or what you decide to eat for dinner, God’s will is in everything. You may not know why, but God indeed has a plan for everything he has created.”
Feeling spiritually refreshed from my conversation with Joshua, I excused myself and went to my tent to rest. I was still feeling the effects of my trip down the Jordan river, so I was quite sure I wasn’t up to another six days of marching. I made sure no one was outside my tent by quietly poking my head outside, then I took out the device and skipped ahead six days.
At least my feet won’t be sore, I said to myself with a quiet laugh as I excited the other side of the portal. It had been only a matter of seconds after the portal closed when Joshua came rushing into my tent, his eyes darting all over the tent before finally resting on me. I could tell by his gasping for breath and the glare he was giving me that he might be a little upset with me.
“Where have you been?! I’ve been searching through the entire camp for you for the past six days! It’s as if you disappeared. That’s no longer important, though. You must follow me quickly, for we only have minutes before we make the final march on Jericho in which God will prove victorious!”
I could see by the excitement in his voice and the glint in his eyes that this was going to be a great sight to see, so I quickly followed him outside. What I saw before me now was almost identical to the formation I had seen weeks ago (as it would appear to them), except for the fact that I could see looks of fatigue and frustration on almost everyone’s faces. Of course it would be too much to expect all of them to have the faith that Joshua did. When I looked at Joshua’s face, instead of seeing fatigue or frustration I saw fierce determination to accomplish the task at hand. Once he had issued the command for everyone to assemble for the final march, I joined him once again at the front of the line and we marched toward what would very shortly cease to be the city of Jericho. The confidence of everyone could be felt in the air; it was almost tangible.
As soon as we got to the city, we started our usual plan of marching around the city. The guards weren’t even paying attention to us this time, thinking that they knew what we were up to. It wasn’t until we started marching around the city for the second time that their interest in us renewed itself. One by one, the guards were turning their gaze toward us as we continued marching around their beloved city. By the time we had reached our seventh time around the city, we had the attention of not only the guards, but also of the king and a majority of the citizens. As we finished our final circle of the city, the priests blew their trumpets, immediately halting in unison every single person that had been marching.
It was then that Joshua turned around to address everyone. With a loud and commanding voice he yelled, “Shout! For the Lord has given you the city! The city and all that is in it are to be devoted to the Lord. Only Rahab the prostitute and all who are with her in her house shall be spared, because she hid the spies we sent. But keep away from the devoted things, so that you will not bring about your own destruction by taking any of them. Otherwise you will make the camp of Israel liable to destruction and bring trouble on it. All the silver and gold and articles of bronze and iron are sacred to the Lord and must go into the treasury.”
After he finished his speech he came and stood next to me once again. For a few brief seconds there was total silence. Not only from us but also from within the walls of Jericho. Then with a deep breath the priests blew their trumpets as loud as they possibly could. If that sound wasn’t magnificent enough, it paled in comparison to the cheering that came from the Israelites. It started off as a low rumble similar to the sound of a few stray rocks falling down a cliff right before an avalanche. Then, like an avalanche, the sound grew louder and louder until it was almost deafening. I looked up at the walls to see guards running around on the top, but not being too sure of what to do. Their problems soon came to an end though as the walls started to shake. The rumbling and shaking were so intense that by comparison it made me prefer being at a rock concert. Then, before my astonished eyes, stones started popping out of the wall. All the shaking had all but disintegrated the mortar used to hold the stones together, so the stones were falling out with increasing speed. Then with a big crash, due largely to the fact that the walls’ supports were no longer there, the walls came crashing down to the ground (along with the guards standing on top of them).
After the dust had settled, I scoped out the destruction of Jericho and stood in awe of God’s magnificent power. I could see the bloody remains of the guards poking out of the rubble, and beyond that I saw the horrified looks of the citizens of Jericho as they realized there were now completely defenseless against the armies of Israel. Then, with an ear-shattering war cry, everyone stormed over the rubble and charged into the city.
I tried running into the city as well so I could see what was going on, but I felt someone firmly grasping my arm so as to prevent me from doing so. I turned around to find that it was none other than Joshua. “Come with me.” He said in a tone that told me I’d better not argue with him.
He led me by the arm behind a nearby cluster of bushes. Once we had lost sight of the ruins of Jericho, Joshua looked me square in the eye and said, “You would be better off not to witness this. I can tell by the look on your face that you are relatively untouched by the travesties of war, and I would not want to deprive you of that blessing. Once your mind is corrupted with the horror of war you have to live with those memories forever. War is never something that people want to participate in, but most often it is something we need to participate in. I must go and join the rest of them now, but I believe you would be better off if we parted ways. Don’t worry though; I know that God will protect you wherever you choose to go.”
Then, after giving me a quick brotherly hug, he ran around the cluster of trees and back to what was left of Jericho.
Taking this as my cue to move on, I settled next on seeking out the man from the Bible that knew what life’s travesties were all about, but still managed to praise God through all of his trials. I had to learn his secret. I took out the device and typed “J-O-B”. Pointing it at the ground directly in front of me, I activated the device and jumped through the portal.

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Posted: Fri Dec 28, 2007 1:02 am 
Wants David O Piano
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Sorry to bump this old post, but I have some good news I felt necessary to share. After a long break from writing (a.k.a my junior year of college), I've decided to continue writing the book. I hope to get a rough draft finished by March, a revision by the end of April, and with luck a publication by the end of the school year. I found a company that will be publishing my book once I finish it. It will have all the official markings of a real book: a bar code, ISBN number, listing on websites such as Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, library of congress listing, etc. I'll release a few excerpts here and there as they get written (for my loyal readers), but I'll be keeping the bulk of the new writing a secret so that way I know you'll all want to buy the book when it comes out :D . Also, I thought I'd let y'all know, I'll be using most of the proceeds to fund my internship to China which costs around $5000 (a requirement of all missions majors).

I'll use this thread to post updates on my progress from time to time as well as the occasional excerpt from the book. The book will be paperback when it comes out (to keep it cheap so more people will buy it), so don't forget to buy it once I finish it.

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Posted: Fri Dec 28, 2007 11:53 am 
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Oh! *raises hand* Me! I'm going to buy it! I can't wait *waits anxiously. But it's a long wait.... Hmmm... Maybe after D.C. it'll be out*


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Posted: Sat Dec 29, 2007 12:24 am 
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Wow, how cool! \:D/ Let us know what happens with that. :D

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Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 6:33 pm 
Wants David O Piano
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UPDATE:
I have finished chapter #10 of the rough draft! I'm about halfway done with the book. As I mentioned before, once I complete the rough draft there will be 2 revisions (most likely) before it will be ready for publication.

I've been thinking recently about what I will do for the cover of the book. Hypothetically speaking ;) , if I were to hold a contest on the toO for the cover of my book, would anyone be interested? I'm not sure if I will do that, I just wanted to put that out there to get an idea of how many people might try. Two things though:

1.) While I'm sure most people on the toO have okay to good graphic design skills, keep in mind this would be book cover quality, and not simply sig quality :D .

2.) If I were to hold a contest and someone submitted a cover for the book, I would of course give them full credit in the book as the illustrator (fyi).

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Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2008 6:41 pm 
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I wonder if it would encourage people to give a good design if you put up a certain amount of USD. I.E. $50-100, only if you actually use the design, or maybe a percentage of the book sales. I.E. 1-5%.

Just an idea, just to actually get people actually trying to design you a cover.

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Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2008 9:17 pm 
Wants David O Piano
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Although I'm still not sure if I'll host a toO contest for the cover, I'll probably design it myself if no one submits anything. In regards to pay, I was going to be putting the proceeds toward my missions trip to China in fall of 2008 so I was sort of hoping (if I have the contest) that people would not ask for pay since it's going to a worthy cause. :)

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Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2008 10:29 pm 
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grins bigly. Grins are contagious, you know! =D

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What would you want the cover to look like, Movieman?

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Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 12:04 am 
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JesusIsAlive wrote:
What would you want the cover to look like, Movieman?


I'd rather save that information for when/if I have a contest ;) .

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Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 6:25 pm 
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Movieman wrote:
Although I'm still not sure if I'll host a toO contest for the cover, I'll probably design it myself if no one submits anything. In regards to pay, I was going to be putting the proceeds toward my missions trip to China in fall of 2008 so I was sort of hoping (if I have the contest) that people would not ask for pay since it's going to a worthy cause. :)
Yeah, I know. I'm guessing people would still put some work into it. But, it's just how people are. When there is something worth something up for grabs, people generally put more work into something. ;)

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Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 7:48 pm 
Wants David O Piano
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danadelfos wrote:
When there is something worth something up for grabs, people generally put more work into something. ;)


I'm hoping toOers wouldn't be that materialistic. :D

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Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 2:46 pm 
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Sadly, I have bad news for everyone. Do to my stupid move of taking more classes this semester, I'm overloaded with homework and have had almost no time to continue to write. I've committed to finishing the book this summer and releasing it sometime by the end of the year, and I will of course be sure to keep everyone posted on any developments. :D

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Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 11:03 pm 
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School always gets in the way, doesn't it? ;) Thanks for the update, Movieman!

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 Post Post subject: Re: My Book ("The Christian Crusader")
Posted: Mon Apr 05, 2010 1:48 pm 
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I just spent entirely too long looking through my old posts. o.o

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......I hate to Bump this thread..... but I was wondering if the book was out yet. :)

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 Post Post subject: Re: My Book ("The Christian Crusader")
Posted: Mon Apr 05, 2010 2:16 pm 
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Old... but not obsolete.

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Yeah and I'm curious as to the publishing company. \:D/

*doesn't think movieman has posted in ages, but oh well... * >_>

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 Post Post subject: Re: My Book ("The Christian Crusader")
Posted: Mon Apr 05, 2010 8:27 pm 
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I think your writing style seems a bit rushed, to be honest. You're hopping from the initial discovery to a Bible story to another Bible story to another Bible story. Everything's happening too fast. And there's something unappealing--something predictable?--about your writing style. I don't know why, but it just doesn't catch my attention (not to mention the God and Satan references seem a bit forced at the beginning). Your protagonist also seemed a bit calmer than you'd think he'd be, seeing God (and I thought you only saw God after you've left earth permanently?). I also had some questions about the technology: why does the professor have a time travel device? How come it only goes back to Bible stories? How does the protagonist understand the languages of the Bible characters?

...So yeah, that's all I have to say. I'm not sure what age group you're targeting this for, but you still have a lot of work to do on this story. Sorry if I'm a bit harsh, but I just wanted to give you my honest opinion.

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