So, I decided to write a story using said technique, following a character as she gets ready to go skydiving

The moments finally here the time to skydive the moment ive been waiting for for so long so very long is here its here its here its here. nervous.
so
very
nervous and excited
excited.
up in the sky, more than 10 thousand feet up. Up up up.
so
nervous
moment is here time to jump is here everything is ready; i feel bogged down. Bogged down by the weight so much. many myths about skydiving, silly myths; no rip-cords, gone around the ‘80s, the 1980s i think. rigs and chutes instead, or something. no rip-cords rip-cords are silly, a myth.
Myth.
Myth.
cant talk while falling too much wind too much noise.
Instructor is with me, Jason Jason Holmes cute face brown sandy hair slightly pale, strange; slightly pale not like him not like him at all. Sick. i hate being sick. poor Jason, cant be sick or maybe its just me like it normally is its probably just me.
always me
me
me. i hate me.
no time for that now almost time to jump final preparations and checks and whatnot jumping together...Jason and me. and me. jumping together. Tandem jumping. tandem skydiving.
Nervousnervousnervousnerv
Ous
NERVOUS
Jumping no solid ground air in my face sudden rush of wind cant feel or hear or think or do anything wind all around me want to scream cant scream scream scream falling falling
F
A
L
L
I
N
G
.
In control---I think. jason is there looks dizzy. Dizzy. Not good i think dizzy is not good not here not now not ever dizzy. Motions, he doesnt respond. Doesnt respond.
not awake. Unconscious.
UNCONSCIOUS. falling
Ohmygoodnessthiscantbehappeningnownotmenotevercantbelievethisneedjason.
need Jason now.
falling, falling, falling. Dont remember anything dont know what to do ground is rushing up so fast
falling
falling
falling
what to do? Jason wont wake up wont wake up somethings wrong need help now.
FALLING
Must work chute now open it so dont die cant die but what matters nothing matters i hate me i hate me FALLING
jason
holmes
jason holmes falling
must save him save him now jason holmes must not die
struggling. Struggling. Deploy, CHUTE. DePloY cHuTe. NO. NOW.
not working.
Fall
Ing
FALLING
failure
fatal error death death DEATH falling death its all over DEATH falling it ends here it ends now DEATH
FALLING
Faster
FASTER
fallING
100 mph winds or more 100mph. so fast.
People below.
pEoPle waving. cant see. well enough. Cant and
dont know what to do.
Falling
ground rushing. CLOSER> falling closer faster falling
its over over everything is over failure death falling. SoRrY.
goodbye, sorry. jason mother father me hate me failure FALLING death everything confused ground rushing up closer closer
No no no going to die die going to die going to d