Post new topic Reply to topic
 [ 17 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post Post subject: if Harry Potter had been written by Lemony Snicket
Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2006 3:20 pm 
I guess I'll stick around
User avatar

Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2005 9:19 am

Posts: 285
Gender: Male

Cash: 33.76
I was digging through some old files of mine and found this little peice I had written. It's a little dated, though since it refers to books which are no longer the latest ones in both the HP and LS series.

Dear Reader
If you are hoping to find in this book a happy and enchanting tale about a young wizard going to magic school, then you are sadly mistaken. For from the beginning when Harry is attacked by several soul-sucking creatures, to the end when a great tragedy occurs, Harry's 5th year at Hogwarts is filled with nothing by misery and woe.
In this volume Harry encounters such unpleasant things as a house for dark wizards, a teacher who looks like a frog, a disturbing prophecy, a pen that slices one's hand open, the death of a loved-one and a pair of radish-shaped earrings.
It is my sad, but very profitable duty to record the school years of the Potter Orphan but obviously you'd be much better off reading some other slightly-less miserable book such as Lemony Snicket's "The Slippery Slope".
With all due respect
J.K. Rowling


Top
  Offline Profile  
      
 Post Post subject:
Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2006 3:32 pm 
100% Kosher
100% Kosher
User avatar

Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2006 7:02 pm

Posts: 5746
Gender: Male

Cash: 0.00
(this is my opinion) harry potter is very evil. witches, goblins, sorcerors, etc. those things are not of God (in my opinion)

_________________
Image


Top
  Offline Profile  
      
 Post Post subject:
Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2006 3:46 pm 
The Original EK
The Original EK
User avatar


Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2005 1:02 am

Posts: 18751
Age: 27
Gender: Male

Cash: 28,902.77
Bank: 192.84
Blog: View Blog (5)
ITS OF TEH DEVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL

_________________
sentio aliquos togatos contra me conspirare


Top
  Offline Profile Facebook  
      
 Post Post subject:
Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2006 6:05 pm 
random passerby elf
random passerby elf
User avatar

Joined: Sat Apr 02, 2005 9:58 am

Posts: 3165
Gender: Female

Cash: 0.66
Bank: 0.00
Haha...nice parody, Ferder. ^_^

_________________
sorrowing you must go, and yet you are not without hope

sarai: rice cookerrrr
uz: 'ice coakrrrrr!!
uz: that's like the next gen shad lexoooooorrrrr


Top
  Offline Profile  
      
 Post Post subject:
Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2006 10:46 pm 
I'm as fancy as Penguin!
User avatar

Joined: Tue Apr 05, 2005 10:00 am

Posts: 2195
Gender: Male

Cash: 0.00
livin4messiah wrote:
witches, goblins, sorcerors, etc. those things are not of God


Well duh. :-s

BTW is that a Halo 2 avatar that you have? Why, if I'm not mistaken, Halo 2 is a shooter game, and killing people (or is it aliens in Halo?) isn't of God either!




Sorry if I offended anyone with my brass words and sarcasm, j/j around here a little bit. No offense intended.

_________________
Evolution is a faith, not a science!


Top
  Offline Profile  
      
 Post Post subject:
Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2006 11:05 pm 
100% Kosher
100% Kosher
User avatar

Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2006 7:02 pm

Posts: 5746
Gender: Male

Cash: 0.00
Jman 009 wrote:
livin4messiah wrote:
witches, goblins, sorcerors, etc. those things are not of God


Well duh. :-s

BTW is that a Halo 2 avatar that you have? Why, if I'm not mistaken, Halo 2 is a shooter game, and killing people (or is it aliens in Halo?) isn't of God either!




Sorry if I offended anyone with my brass words and sarcasm, j/j around here a little bit. No offense intended.


i dont know, i think it ishalo, i found it on the gallery at my site, and it looked kool, so im usin it

_________________
Image


Last edited by Azariah Ben Yaakov on Wed Oct 17, 2007 3:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Top
  Offline Profile  
      
 Post Post subject:
Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2006 11:08 pm 
I'm as fancy as Penguin!
User avatar

Joined: Tue Apr 05, 2005 10:00 am

Posts: 2195
Gender: Male

Cash: 0.00
yeah, ok. But ya oughta notta use things that you don't know what they are, could get ya into trouble, like it just did.

_________________
Evolution is a faith, not a science!


Top
  Offline Profile  
      
 Post Post subject:
Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2006 4:52 am 
100% Kosher
100% Kosher
User avatar

Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2006 7:02 pm

Posts: 5746
Gender: Male

Cash: 0.00
Jman 009 wrote:
yeah, ok. But ya oughta notta use things that you don't know what they are, could get ya into trouble, like it just did.
yeah u r rite, but ek is SUPPOEDlYmakin mea new avvy so yeah....

_________________
Image


Last edited by Azariah Ben Yaakov on Wed Oct 17, 2007 3:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Top
  Offline Profile  
      
 Post Post subject:
Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2006 5:17 pm 
Re-elect the Town Council!
User avatar
is playing Super Mario. She never had a game system like this growing up!

Joined: Fri May 20, 2005 8:05 am

Posts: 6292
Gender: Female

Cash: 1.04
Bank: 220.06
Blog: View Blog (1)
Jman 009 wrote:
Why, if I'm not mistaken, Halo 2 is a shooter game, and killing people (or is it aliens in Halo?) isn't of God either!

Off topic: Who says "killing" people isn't of God? God has killed many people.

Murder is wrong. Killing is not.

_________________
Image
“God grant me the courage not to give up what I think is right even though I think it is hopeless.” Chester W. Nimitz


Top
  Offline Profile  
      
 Post Post subject:
Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2006 8:09 pm 
I'm finally not a No0b
User avatar

Joined: Sat Dec 10, 2005 4:50 pm

Posts: 675
Gender: Female

Cash: 0.00
Quote:
Off topic: Who says "killing" people isn't of God? God has killed many people.

Murder is wrong. Killing is not.


True! Just try telling that to some people though - #-o

_________________
Image

my best friend is pink jeans!
"I don't pretend to be Captain Weird. I just am."
-Johnny Depp


Top
  Offline Profile  
      
 Post Post subject:
Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2006 8:33 pm 
Hammer Bro
Hammer Bro
User avatar
Old... but not obsolete.

Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2005 1:04 am

Posts: 22229
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Highscores: 1

Cash: 9,999,999,994,415,300.00
Bank: 5,584,680.26
Blog: View Blog (1)
i think its satin worship it teaches spel casting and whichcraft and concocting a war for politican gain. i think u showed do like teh germins in ww2 and burn those books!!!!!!!1

_________________
Image
Image
Image

I'm bored today so come ask me questions here as the topic suggests.


Top
  Offline Profile  
      
 Post Post subject:
Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2006 8:38 pm 
100% Kosher
100% Kosher
User avatar

Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2006 7:02 pm

Posts: 5746
Gender: Male

Cash: 0.00
Bulk wrote:
i think its satin worship it teaches spel casting and whichcraft and concocting a war for politican gain. i think u showed do like teh germins in ww2 and burn those books!!!!!!!1
i agree!!

*makes petition, with Top, and signs it*

_________________
Image


Last edited by Azariah Ben Yaakov on Wed Oct 17, 2007 3:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Top
  Offline Profile  
      
 Post Post subject:
Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2006 8:40 pm 
Catspaw knows all
User avatar

Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2005 2:32 pm

Posts: 913
Gender: Male

Cash: 0.00
livin4messiah wrote:
Bulk wrote:
i think its satin worship it teaches spel casting and whichcraft and concocting a war for politican gain. i think u showed do like teh germins in ww2 and burn those books!!!!!!!1
i agree!!

*makes petition, with Top, and signs it*

he was kidding... I think. :-s

_________________
Image [img]


Top
  Offline Profile  
      
 Post Post subject:
Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2006 9:07 pm 
Care Bear Admin
Care Bear Admin
User avatar


Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2005 7:42 am

Posts: 28150
Age: 33
Gender: Female

Cash: 5,965.21
Bank: 1,958.31
mr. mellow wrote:
livin4messiah wrote:
Bulk wrote:
i think its satin worship it teaches spel casting and whichcraft and concocting a war for politican gain. i think u showed do like teh germins in ww2 and burn those books!!!!!!!1
i agree!!

*makes petition, with Top, and signs it*

he was kidding... I think. :-s

He was definitely kidding, in a slightly less than serious way. When Top suggests a Nazi-style book-burning, he usually isn't serious. :)

Let's discuss Ferder's humorous writing instead of debating endlessly about something we'll never agree upon, shall we? :)

_________________
Image


Top
  Offline Profile E-mail  
      
 Post Post subject:
Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2006 11:07 pm 
I was here from the beginning
User avatar
Dreaming of you...

Joined: Sat Jul 30, 2005 1:03 am

Posts: 15731
Age: 29
Gender: Male

Cash: 2.62
Bank: 28.20
I think I would have found it more funny if I was familiar with either series of books, which will probably never happen...


Good job btw. ;)


-Cowboy

_________________
Click on the image, you know you want to! \:D/
Image
"I was placed in jail during the reign of Regis for double posting and spamming. :( I felt very naughty." -Danae Doyle

"This is the ToO...Not Wikipedia."-COT "I had some really good replies to that, but they were too rude, so I deleted them. Nice going, CoT. You made me be nice for once." :( -CA
"Alas, not even I could perform such a feat."-Trinny


Top
  Offline Profile E-mail  
      
 Post Post subject:
Posted: Wed Mar 01, 2006 8:09 pm 
The Original EK
The Original EK
User avatar


Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2005 1:02 am

Posts: 18751
Age: 27
Gender: Male

Cash: 28,902.77
Bank: 192.84
Blog: View Blog (5)
Jman 009 wrote:
livin4messiah wrote:
witches, goblins, sorcerors, etc. those things are not of God


Well duh. :-s

BTW is that a Halo 2 avatar that you have? Why, if I'm not mistaken, Halo 2 is a shooter game, and killing people (or is it aliens in Halo?) isn't of God either!


Halo 2 is the pwnzors, if you cant play Halo 2 because it has guns and violence in it....then you can only play tetris and bejeweled. BUT WAIT, thats violence against blocks and gems...ohnoez. I own Halo, Halo 2, and the Halo 2 Multiplayer Map Pack. And it is leet as all get out and I havent started worshipping the devil or shooting people...on a side note, the new game called Black is like teh pwnzors.

_________________
sentio aliquos togatos contra me conspirare


Top
  Offline Profile Facebook  
      
 Post Post subject:
Posted: Wed Mar 01, 2006 8:28 pm 
I'm finally not a No0b
User avatar

Joined: Sat Apr 02, 2005 1:52 am

Posts: 674
Gender: Female

Cash: 8.82
Bank: 0.00
Ha! Cute parody, Ferder. Sure wish that was on the cover before I read it. Favorite characters that die in the book make me sad. :(


Top
  Offline Profile  
      
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic
 [ 17 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 7 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Jump to:  

Powered by phpBB © phpBB Group
The site is in no way affiliated with Focus on the Family. "Adventures in Odyssey" is the registered trademark of Focus on the Family.