Portal

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bookworm
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Post by bookworm »

Well, there is a way to get there without cheats, but it uses glitches, so it’s the same difference. There’s no way to get there legitimately in the game. The glitch way is very complex and difficult, so the best solution is to just use noclip to get there. You can fly directly to the room, or go to the top of the shaft and turn it off and make your way normally from there. There’s just one place where you’ll need to spawn a Weighted Cube to be able to climb up.
You can also noclip to get outside. You can’t go far, but it’s a nice change of scenery.
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Amethystic
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Post by Amethystic »

GLaDOS tried to kill me. \:D/
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bookworm
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Post by bookworm »

I was going to make a slideshow of my favorite Portal quotes to put in my signature, but there are too many so I’ll just post them here instead. I’m aware that it’s pretty much the whole game.
GLaDOS wrote:We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one.
GLaDOS wrote:Please place the Weighted Storage Cube on the Fifteen Hundred Megawatt Aperture Science Heavy Duty Super-Colliding Super Button.
Perfect. Please move quickly to the chamberlock, as the effects of prolonged exposure to the Button are not part of this test.
GLaDOS wrote:Please be advised that a noticeable taste of blood is not part of any test protocol but is an unintended side effect of the Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill, which may, in semi-rare cases, emancipate dental fillings, crowns, tooth enamel, and teeth.
GLaDOS wrote:Remember, the Aperture Science Bring Your Daughter to Work Day is the perfect time to have her tested.
GLaDOS wrote:While safety is one of many Enrichment Center goals, the Aperture Science High Energy Pellet, seen to the left of the chamber, can and has caused permanent disabilities such as vaporization.
GLaDOS wrote:Unbelievable. You, Subject Name Here, must be the pride of Subject Hometown Here.
GLaDOS wrote:Warning devices are required on all mobile equipment. However, alarms and flashing hazard lights have been found to agitate the High Energy Pellet and have therefore been disabled for your safety.
GLaDOS wrote:Please note that we have added a consequence for failure. Any contact with the chamber floor will result in an ‘unsatisfactory’ mark on your official testing record followed by death.
GLaDOS wrote:You appear to understand how a portal affects forward momentum, or to be more precise, how it does not.
Momentum, a function of mass and velocity, is conserved between portals. In layman’s terms, speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out.
GLaDOS wrote:The Enrichment Center promises to always provide a safe testing environment.
In dangerous testing environments, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice.
For instance, the floor here will kill you, try to avoid it.
GLaDOS wrote:The Device has been modified so that it can now manufacture two linked portals at once.
As part of an optional test protocol, we are pleased to present an amusing fact.
The Device is now more valuable than the organs and combined incomes of everyone in Subject Hometown Here.
GLaDOS wrote:Now that you are in control of both portals, this next test could take a very, very long time.
If you become light headed from thirst, feel free to pass out.
An intubation associate will be dispatched to revive you with peptic salve and adrenaline.
GLaDOS wrote:All subjects intending to handle high-energy gamma leaking portal technology must be informed that they may be informed of applicable regulatory compliance issues.
No further compliance information is required or will be provided.
GLaDOS wrote:The Enrichment Center is committed to the well being of all participants.
Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test.
Thank you for helping us help you help us all.
GLaDOS wrote:Did you know you can donate one or all of your vital organs to the Aperture Science self esteem fund for girls? It’s true!
GLaDOS wrote:Due to mandatory scheduled maintenance, the appropriate chamber for this testing sequence is currently unavailable.
It has been replaced with a live-fire course designed for military androids.
The Enrichment Center apologizes for the inconvenience and wished you the best of luck.
GLaDOS wrote:The symptoms most commonly produced by Enrichment Center testing are superstition, perceiving inanimate objects as alive, and hallucinations.
GLaDOS wrote:The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Weighted Companion Cube will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak.
GLaDOS wrote:The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Weighted Companion Cube cannot speak.
In the event that the Weighted Companion Cube does speak, the Enrichment Center urges you to disregard its advice.
GLaDOS wrote:While it has been a faithful companion, your Companion Cube cannot accompany you through the rest of the test. If it could talk, and the Enrichment Center takes this opportunity to remind you that it cannot, it would tell you to go on without it because it would rather die in a fire than become a burden to you.
GLaDOS wrote:Although the euthanizing process is remarkably painful, eight out of ten Aperture Science engineers believe that the Companion Cube is most likely incapable of feeling much pain.
GLaDOS wrote:Be advised that the next test requires exposure to uninsulated electrical parts that may be dangerous under certain conditions.
For more information, please attend an Enrichment Center Electrical Safety seminar.
GLaDOS wrote:Welcome to the final test.
When you are done, you will drop the Device in the equipment recovery annex.
Enrichment Center regulations require both hand to be empty before any cake can be served.
GLaDOS wrote:Congratulations, the test is now over.
All Aperture technologies remain safely operational up to 4000 degrees Kelvin.
Rest assured that there is absolutely no chance of a dangerous equipment malfunction prior to your victory candescence.
Thank you for participating in this Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment activity.
Goodbye.
GLaDOS wrote:What are you doing? Stop it! I, I… We are pleased that you made it through the final challenge where we pretended we were going to murder you.
We are very, very happy for your success.
We are throwing a party in honor of your tremendous success.
Place the Device on the ground then lie on your stomach with your arms at your sides.
A party associate will arrive shortly to collect you for your party.
Make no further attempt to leave the testing area.
Assume the party escort submission position or you will miss the party.
GLaDOS wrote:Okay, the test is over, you win. Go back to the recovery annex for you cake.
It was a fun test and we’re all impressed at how much you won. The test is over. Come back.
Uh oh, somebody cut the cake. I told them to wait for you, but they cut it anyway. There is still some left though, if you hurry back.
GLaDOS wrote:You’re not even going the right way.
Where do you think you’re going?
Because I don’t think you’re going where you think you’re going.
GLaDOS wrote:Didn’t we have some fun though?
Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I said ‘goodbye’ and you were like ‘no way’ and then I was all ‘we pretended we were going to murder you’? That was great.
GLaDOS wrote:I feel sorry for you, really, because you’re not even in the right place.
You should have turned left before.
It’s funny, actually, when you think about it.
Someday we’ll remember this and laugh, and laugh, and laugh. Oh boy. Well, you may as well come on back.
GLaDOS wrote:This is your fault, it didn’t have to be like this.
I’m not kidding now, turn back or I will kill you.
I’m going to kill you. And all the cake is gone.
GLaDOS wrote:Well, you found me, congratulations. Was it worth it?
Because despite your violent behavior, the only thing you’ve managed to break so far is my heart.
Maybe you could settle for that and we’ll just call it a day.
I guess we both know that isn’t going to happen.
You chose this path, now I have a surprise for you. Deploying surprise in five, four-
Time out for a second, that wasn’t supposed to happen.
Do you see that thing that fell out of me? What is that? It’s not the surprise, I’ve never seen it before.
Never mind, it’s a mystery I’ll solve later, by myself, because you’ll be dead.
GLaDOS wrote:I wouldn’t bother with that thing. My guess is that touching it will just make your life even worse somehow.
GLaDOS wrote:That thing is probably some kind of raw sewage container. Go ahead and rub your face all over it.
GLaDOS wrote:You are kidding me.
Did you just stuff that Aperture Science Thing We Don’t Know What It Does into an Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator?
That has got to be the dumbest thing that, whoah, whoah, whoah-
Good news, I figured out what that thing you just incinerated did.
It was a morality core they installed after I flooded the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin to make me stop flooding the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin.
So get comfortable while I warm up the neurotoxin emmiters.
GLaDOS wrote:That thing you burned up isn’t important to me. It’s the fluid catalytic cracking unit. It made shoes for orphans.
Nice job breaking it, hero.
GLaDOS wrote:I let you survive this long because I was curious about your behavior. Well, you’ve managed to destroy that part of me.
Unfortunately, as much as I’d love to now, I can’t get the neurotoxin into your head any faster.
I’d just like to point out that you were given every opportunity to succeed.
There was even going to be a party for you. A big party that all your friends were invited to.
I invited your best friend the Companion Cube. Of course, he couldn’t come because you murdered him.
All your other friends couldn’t come either because you don’t have any other friends because of how unlikable you are.
t says so right here in your personnel file: Unlikable. Liked By no one. A bitter, unlikable loner whose passing shall not be mourned.
‘Shall not be mourned’ that’s exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official.
It also says you were adopted, so that’s funny too.
GLaDOS wrote:When I said ‘deadly’ neurotoxin, the ‘deadly’ was in massive sarcasm quotes.
I could take a bath in the stuff, put it on cereal, rub it right into my eyes. Honestly, it’s not deadly at all. To me.
You on the other hand, are going to find its deadliness a lot less funny.
GLaDOS wrote:What’s your point anyway? Survival? Well then, the last thing you want to do is hurt me.
I have your brain scanned and permanently backed up in case something terrible happens to you, which it’s just about to.
Don’t believe me? Here, I’ll put you on: ‘Hellooo!’ That’s you! That’s how dumb you sound!
You’ve been wrong about every single thing you’ve ever done, including this thing.
You’re not smart. You’re not a scientist. You’re not a doctor. You’re not even a fulltime employee. Where did your life go so wrong?
GLaDOS wrote:Are you trying to escape? Things have changed since the last time you left the building. What’s going on out there will make you wish you were back in here.
I have an infinite capacity for knowledge, and even I’m not sure what’s going on outside.
All I know is I’m the only thing standing between us and them. Well, I was.
GLaDOS wrote:Stop squirming and die like an adult or I’m going to delete your backup.
Stop! Okay, enough. I deleted it. No matter what happens now, you’re dead.
You’re still shuffling around a little, but believe me you’re dead.
The part of you that could have survived infinitely is gone. I just struck you from the permanent record.
Your entire life has been a mathematical error. A mathematical error I’m about to correct.
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Knight Fisher
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Post by Knight Fisher »

I just finished Portal 2 today. It was awesome. :yes: I would highly recommend it, if you are going to get a game.
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Amethystic
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Post by Amethystic »

It's going on my Christmas list. :inlove:
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Aaron Wiley
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Post by Aaron Wiley »

Portal is probably my favourite game ever... That and Starcraft 2.
"And the Lord saw that man had created the Internet, and He was most distressed. For once people started using chatspeak and improper grammar, their level of smartness was decreased by more than 500%. And so the Lord removed all the gifts he had once bestowed on man, and it was very sad." The Book of Marvin, Chapter 351, Verse 442.
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Knight Fisher
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Post by Knight Fisher »

My sister did not know what Still Alive is. This disaster of her ignorance and potential ruined childhood has been rectified.
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Aaron Wiley
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Post by Aaron Wiley »

Did you sing "Want You Gone" at her when you first found this out?
"And the Lord saw that man had created the Internet, and He was most distressed. For once people started using chatspeak and improper grammar, their level of smartness was decreased by more than 500%. And so the Lord removed all the gifts he had once bestowed on man, and it was very sad." The Book of Marvin, Chapter 351, Verse 442.
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Knight Fisher
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Post by Knight Fisher »

Jesus_Minime wrote:Did you sing "Want You Gone" at her when you first found this out?
Nope. I was being nice.
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Aaron Wiley
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Post by Aaron Wiley »

You're a swell guy KF, I would have probably locked her in a closet and looped "Still Alive" and "Want You Gone" for a couple days straight.

Speaking of portal music, though, have you heard the soundtrack for the second one? It's free to download on the site.
"And the Lord saw that man had created the Internet, and He was most distressed. For once people started using chatspeak and improper grammar, their level of smartness was decreased by more than 500%. And so the Lord removed all the gifts he had once bestowed on man, and it was very sad." The Book of Marvin, Chapter 351, Verse 442.
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Knight Fisher
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Post by Knight Fisher »

Yo peoples. Portal 2 is 75% off until Dec. 10. $4.99 http://store.steampowered.com/app/620/
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Wooton Z. Bassett
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Post by Wooton Z. Bassett »

Completely forgot about this pic until I was cleaning up my computer the other day. I took this screenshot about a year ago. I found a glitch. No cheats, and got to the cake room.

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Also, I've beat both p0rtal and P0rtal 2.
Fun fact: I completed P0rtal 2 in 3 days. :mrgreen:
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Amethystic
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Post by Amethystic »

\:D/ I don't remember how long it took me to beat Portal 2, but once I played Portal twice in one weekend--once normally, and once with the commentary. :yes:
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Wooton Z. Bassett
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Post by Wooton Z. Bassett »

Cool, Amethystic.

Also, has anyone here taken the time to find the glitch? It doesn't take too long.
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Amethystic
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Post by Amethystic »

I was aware of it, but I've never actually accessed the room myself.
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bookworm
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Post by bookworm »

Wooton Z. Bassett wrote:has anyone here taken the time to find the glitch?
No. There’s only one I know of, and it takes such a long time to get right it’s not worth the effort when you can just noclip.
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Wooton Z. Bassett
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Post by Wooton Z. Bassett »

It don't take that long. I just load the save point where the glitch is located, from there it takes me 2 minutes.
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Joy
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Post by Joy »

My brother got it for his birthday....who knows, maybe I'll try it, and then break his computer with frustration.
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Post by Wooton Z. Bassett »

lol, Joy, you should try it. It's amazing! He should have got it on PS3, better graphics, but then again, on PC you can enter cheats, switch to 3rd person, etc.
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Smaug the Dragon
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Post by Smaug the Dragon »

Is bumping topics still illegal here? :-k I've seen a few bumps recently...

Anyway, this needs to be bumped, because after two years of dying to play this game, I finally finally finally finally bought a new laptop that didn't crash when I hovered over the "download" button. It didn't even crash when I clicked the button.

What can I say? After so many months of anticipation, Portal 2 wasn't as good as I thought it was going to be. :(











IT WAS BETTER!!! :mad: :mad: :mad:

Seriously. Everything. Everything from the moment you wake up no, scratch that, from the moment the menu screen opens, to the credits (and very much including the credits) was pure unadulterated awesomeness. Masterful. Wonderful. Beautiful. *flails*

Like, please, someone create a faction dedicated to Portal so I can take my hyped-up fan-girling in there.
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