Noah

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snubs
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Post by snubs »

Jelly wrote:It's never, ever safe to judge a film from its trailer, especially in this case. ;)
That's why I said I would still like to see it. It looks interesting.
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Post by Petrichor »

I wasn't really interested in this movie one way or the other until I saw a hyper-conservative Facebook mom post Ken Ham's official warning against the movie. Now I'm intrigued. :-
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Post by jelly »

Ken Ham doesn't know the first thing about what makes a good story. ;) He also has a troubling and problematic way of interpreting the Bible.

...COINCIDENCE?
Last edited by jelly on Thu Feb 13, 2014 6:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Petrichor »

Believe me, I know. My respect for Ken Ham and the person who posted the article is pretty low. I just meant that his article made made me actually want to see the movie, instead of just being indifferent about it. The fact that he hates it so much without even seeing it makes me think it might just be good. ;)
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Post by jelly »

It's what happens when Christians form a culture defined by what offends them, abstaining from the more difficult (but more rewarding) task of putting faith in a God who loves, inspires and shows extravagant grace to those who earnestly seek after him. It's a pseudo-Christianity. A political extremism rather than a faith-based lifestyle.
Petrichor wrote:The fact that he hates it so much without even seeing it makes me think it might just be good. ;)
It's like when one of those Christian 'reviews' carelessly condemns a film for superficial reasons - I find that often to be a stamp of approval. \:D/
Last edited by jelly on Thu Feb 13, 2014 6:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by IrishTiger »

http://movies.yahoo.com/blogs/movie-new ... 23987.html

While I do wish they had stuck closer to the real story, I'm still going to see it because Russell Crowe is the main actor. :P
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Post by Termite »

"Artistic license" doesn't even begin to cover the monstrosity that is this film. :P It's the only movie I had ever walked out on to go use the restroom. I even stayed out for a while just to kill time before the rainbow (which was a firework/ripple effect :( ) and used the lovely internet to fill in the 20 minute gap I missed.

No one is going to ever be able to excuse it. I wanted to enjoy it; I really did, especially going in. One of the ladies mentioned before we left if we needed to walk out we could and I was like "No way! I'm going against the Christianese mold here!" Meh. Unfortunately, it fell waaaaay below anything I dared anticipate. The music was dull, the animals were so freakishly CGI, and the outfits were... historically inaccurate. (more on that down in spoiler. Go all the way to the bottom and read the last line. It's so pathetic I dare not post it for the public eye to see.)

My biggest complaint is actually something I read in a PluggedIn review and agreed with: people try to be so faithful to convert books and other stories to film in the best way possible (Hobbit and Ella Enchanted excluded), so why was the same not done for this? Especially considering so many people know the story, even if they aren't saved. It was way too far gone for me to appreciate whatsoever.

If you want a play by play... here:
(because I have nothing better to do. Spoilers, of course.)
Brief history of Genesis, God only referenced ever to as 'Creator'
Mankind became evil because the 'Watchers' taught them everything they knew after the fall of Eden. (the Watchers now being stone-like giants reminiscent of "The Fires of Pompeii")
The Creator doesn't like the Watchers anymore, so He doesn't speak to them ever because they disobeyed.
Historyyyy
Daddy tries to bless Noah after wrapping the automatically glowing snake skin from the serpent around his arm.
Noah gets to watch Daddy being slaughtered by the evil men.
Noah finds a wife somewhere and has three little boys, all whom are vegetarians because creation is too special to eat. (his excuse: 'strength comes from the creator', but there are more animalistic pushes later on. good line, though.)
Uh oh, bad guys come and kill an animal. Children didn't know this happened.
Has dream that every is dead in the water.
Run away!
And where do they run? Through this valley, oh, look! A camp with dead people! And a little girl with a cut that has made her barren.
Save little girl; run through wasteland that is home to the Watchers... wasteland because Methuselah has a firey sword that incinerated the people attacking the Watchers.
Get caught by Watchers; insist one is relative of "the Old One".
Thrown in pit, girl might not make it, one naughty Watcher comes to rescue to lead them to the "mountain".
Go to mountain, take Shem up to see Odin- er, Great-Grandfather.
Grandfather wanted berries.
Grandfather gives magic tea to Noah so he'll have a vision of what perhaps the 'Creator' wants to tell him, since the Creator sent him there to have tea.
(sidenote: seriously disconcerting to see Odin. Seriously. A redeeming quality would have been to have Loki sweep in and woo us all... too bad.)
Noah has vision of a big floaty boat thing.
While Noah has vision, Odin teaches Shem to play string games.
Odin thinks the earth is to be consumed by fire, but Noah disagrees because he's pretty sure he knows what to do. Since he's had two weird dreams and a couple flowers have grown up out of the ground out of nowhere.
Odin gives Noah magic spike-ball seed that came from Eden.
Noah goes back down mountain; Ham is running around Watcher playing "CATCH ME IF YOU CAAAN"
Plants seed; lots of water comes out.
BEDDY-BY-TIME.
More dreams of serpent. Meh.
Watcher is being dragged away by other irritated Watchers.
Then... TREES. A WHOLE FREAKING FOREST.
So now the Watchers are all happy and agree to help Noah.
TIME TO START BUILDING. Ten years have passed, but since the Watchers like them everything's almost done.
Oh yeah, Shem and Ila love each other. Makeout forest scene, aaalmost sex. BUT WAIT. Hermione can't have children. :(
Ham's jealous because he has no girl. Other good line: "The Creator has always brought us what we needed".
BIIIIIIRDS! The birdies come, then are put to sleep by some sort of smokey-thing that doesn't affect people.
King of evil men follows the birdies.
Ham meets the king, Tubal-Cain or something like that. Because oh yeah, they're all descended from Cain.
Ham is intrigued but still listens to Noah.
King threatens to take over, but the Watchers back Noah up.
Naamah (the wife) goes up to Odin to ask him to cure Hermione.
Hey, cool, animals! Too bad they don't even look normal, like they're in a pre-evolution state. Not completely, but the idea was there enough to catch my attention xD
Uh oh, poor Hermione. Guess she only wants Weasley boys... ah well. Now Noah decides to go find wives in the evil peoples camp.
Zoikes. Eating little girls and/or trading them for animal meat. O.o That was disturbing.
WEY-ELL. Nevermind wives. Everyone has to die now.
Ham is angry and runs away. Hermione follows.
Ham falls into pit of dead people and meets a girl.
Hermione runs into Odin who is looking for berries. Blesses her.
Hermione runs to meet Shem who came looking for her. OH SNAP. THERE GO THE CLOTHES. End scene. (thankfully)
UH OH. HERE COMES THE RAIN.
The love birds come running back (clothed)
Ham convinces girl to come.
Uh oh, the love birds forgot about Ham.
Noah goes to find Ham. (now I want bacon)
Ham and girl are running to beat the army that miraculously assembled in the span of five minutes, even though evil king had to ask for a message yada yada he kills like the Creator yada yada so he's like him >_>
Girl steps in animal trap. Oops. Gross.
Noah won't help and drags Ham away, who is watching while she's trampled.
The Watchers are basically Helm's Deep.
Ham and Noah slip through, the rain keeps falling...
WATCHER DOWN. Er, up as he is apparently forgiven and taken back to Heaven. IT'S ALL OR NOTHING NOW.
Last Watcher commits suicide instead of fighting longer. That was selfish. Heartfelt farewell, though. Javert should have started singing.
Noah likes to fight, too. Yeowch.
BATTEN DOWN THE HATCHES. Oooo, nice water explosions!
(I was reeeeally hoping for a dramatic flood scene... but it was disappointing. boo.)
Well, evil king found a way in. Good thing he's injured- oh wait. Ham's going to help here in a bit.
People are screaming as they're dying outside... (ftr, that was disconcerting.)
Noah tells Genesis stories again...
Ham runs off mad... to evil king, who sympathizes and coerces him based off dead girl.
Poor lizzard won't have a mate now.
Oh yeah, BTWS, everyone is going to die now. Noah's family just has to die off-
oh yeah. the lovebirds with their hatchling now. WAS I THE ONLY ONE TO SEE THAT COMING.
Rain stopped... CREATOR IS HAPPY.
Oopsies. ALL HUMANITY MUST END, EXCEPT FOR THE PRECIOUS ANIMALS.
That means: boy baby, he can die off. girl baby: must be killed.
So Noah goes to double-check with 'Creator'... now words. CREATOR IS MAD.
Sooooo skip forward here a bit. Shem and Hermione built a raft and have food and water ("For a month!") and are going to leave. Why doesn't she spell them away?
Mom begs "NOOOOOOOOOO"
Wants to send out another bird to find land before they leave.
*this is where I went potty and decided to chill, Glide-app my sister and complain, and check the summary online to make sure it ended decently enough to warrant my re-entry.*
From what I gathered: too much stress = BABY TIME. (good thing, too... her baby-bump was sooo ridiculous/unnatural looking.)
Er, babies. Twin girls, that is.
BUT NOAH CAN'T DO IT. Duh.
Oh, evil king wants to kill Noah. Ham brings Noah into the creepy, dark recesses of the ark because the animals are apparently gnoshing at each other, even though the only way to wake them up is by another pill or something.
Sooo, Noah and evil king fight.
Evil king killed Daddy and HE WAS THE ONE WHO STOLE THE SNAKE SKIN. GOSH DARN IT, RUDE.
Evil king is hurt when the ark hits ground, Ham finishes evil king ooooooff...
So they land. Stuff.
Ham walks off, because he's still angry... except WAIT. TWIN GIRLS. ONE FOR HIM AND HIS BROTHER. Moron.
*this is where I walked back in xD*
So, Noah runs away for a while.
Hermione locates him with her wand then goes to find him.
Convinces him to come back... you know, he couldn't kill the babies because "when I looked at them, all I had in my heart was love"
On another (shredded) note: The Creator gave Noah the choice to save humanity or not. Hah.
So Noah goes back, reconciles with wife...
decided he needs to bless his granddaughters with the snake skin that he took back from dead evil king.
Rainbow explodes across sky like something from another movie I can't quite place... but there are ripples of it, emanating from a golden hole betwixt some clouds. HAHAHA.



Aaaand... Noah wears jeans.
Last edited by Termite on Sat Mar 29, 2014 10:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Whitty Whit »

I want to see the movie simply because of the alleged turmoil that it's causing. I was talking with a friend today who saw it and he said basically what Termite said. If I do go see it, I'm going to be going into it with the mindset of just another CGI movie like Ender's Game (which was an okay movie. nothing spectacular).
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Post by jelly »

Termite wrote:No one is going to ever be able to excuse it.
I guess that's it guys. I was going to defend the movie and everything, but I guess if I enjoyed it I must have been delusional. Just ignore everything I say from now on.
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Post by EvangelineWalker »

I am going to see it right now and see who is right. :)
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Post by snubs »

Here is an interesting article about the movie: I'm a Christian and I Think 'Noah' Deserves A Four Star Review

I will not pay money to go see it. But I will probably see it at some point when I can do so free.
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Post by Steve »

There are literally only two words, that-when combined-get me interested in this movie at all.

Emma and Watson. :inlove:
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Post by jelly »

If I was a moderator I'd straight-up delete the Matt Walsh link. >_> That guy is a self-righteous culture warrior who feeds off clicks and controversy, and he's mostly wrong.

In this case, his "review" of Noah is not only very, very wrong, but he's trying WAY too hard to be antagonistic. Like I said: he literally leaches off attention.
Last edited by jelly on Sun Mar 30, 2014 9:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by snubs »

o_. Okayyy, didn't really get that..even after reading some of his other posts. And I just said it was interesting. No one has to agree.
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Post by Aeva »

Well then, defend yourself, Jelly. \:D/ (I promise to listen very attentively to your argument before judging you, even though I haven't seen the film for myself. ;) )
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Post by jelly »

I don't want to defend myself. :| I've seen the film twice and I think it's one of the most beautiful things I've seen in years... but in all honesty, I was really hoping that I wouldn't like it all that much, because I knew if I did I would start to feel defensive and personal about it. I know I shouldn't, but I do. :(

I won't be defending myself. Though I do hope to write an essay that describes why I think the film is beautiful, integral and theologically important, and just leave it at that. If some article or rumor has informed you that the film is "biblically inaccurate" or somehow "not a good film because it was made by a humanist instead of a Christian," well, you might just miss out on an incredible opportunity to be moved, challenged and inspired by this amazing rendering of faith and love.
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Post by Whitty Whit »

I am not thinking that it's not a good film because a humanist made it. I'm thinking that it's not a good film because it pointlessly and incredibly inaccurate to who Noah truly was from what I've seen in the Bible.
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Post by EvangelineWalker »

Okay, there were parts I liked about it, and parts I didn't like. I was fully prepared for it to take 'artistic license'; it was directed by an atheist, after all; inspired-by, not word-for-word account. Parts of it were Biblical, and parts of it weren't. Some stuff just seemed weird, and not an artistic choice I would make if I were making the movie. For instance,
The rock people. Now, there were giants on the earth, but I didn't envision them as giant rocks. But it ended up making sense in some ways (they helped build the ark). Also, it was very moving when they went to heaven (after asking forgiveness).

And when the trees sprouted out of the ground--that was weird. Like there couldn't have been any trees anywhere in the world they could have made the ark out of.

But overall, there was a lot of beauty to it, and I liked the 'gritty realism' (for lack of a better term). Despite the fact that the animals were 'obviously CG', I loved watching the animals slither, crawl, etc into the ark, and I cried a little at this point. And it made sense that they'd be asleep on the ark (whether or not this happened this way).

Another odd choice is when they didn't bring their wives on the ark. Now the Bible says that Noah's daughters-in-law DID go on the ark--and I guess technically they did, if it means that Ham and Japheth's wives would eventually be Ila's daughters. Some of this twisting things around seemed unnecessary.

But, to me, the core of the story was there. They showed that mankind on the earth was evil, and they were being punished for that, the slate swept clean. I liked the scene/vision where Noah was in the enemy's camp and saw himself as one of them. Evil is in all of us; Noah's faith was counted as righteousness, but he was sinful, as a son of Adam. And it made sense that Noah would feel the weight of guilt about what was happening, and his part in it. He might have been a little messed up mentally....at the same time, I didn't like how this was handled. Sure, Noah wasn't perfect, but kill his unborn granddaughters? Wouldn't his love for his family overpower anything else he felt? I didn't get why they needed to make Noah think that God wanted to eradicate human beings including his family. Although I can see he might want to if it meant eradicating sin...but it's not Biblical, and it went too far in my opinion. But it did end up in a rather powerful scene at the end, where love triumphs over pure 'justice'.

oh, and Noah getting drunk is Biblical; it didn't say that's why it happened, but it did make sense. The guy stowing away on the ark was weird, but it seemed like he was a representation of the sin that needed to be destroyed. And people were vegetarian until after the Flood'; it was taking license to say some ate meat beforehand, but it helped to illustrate the evil and decadence of man.
Overall, I cautiously liked the movie; some parts were annoying, some parts were beautiful. We just have to take it as it is; a movie. We can't expect an atheist to make something purely Biblical; we can't expect a filmmaker to stick purely to the source material. I think it's better to applaud an atheist director for what he got right, rather than vilify him for what he got wrong. But in the end, we have to be discerning about what we view and at the same time respect others' opinions. It's usually best to take a balanced approach. There is good and bad in this world; if it was all bad, no chance for redemption, God wouldn't have bothered to give us a second chance.

Here is another interesting article: http://fromdustblog.wordpress.com/2014/ ... -it-brings
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Post by WindowWasher »

Jelly wrote:
Termite wrote:No one is going to ever be able to excuse it.
Just ignore everything I say from now on.
Will do! :D
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Post by bookworm »

My reaction after seeing this was ‘What in the world did I just watch?’ but not in a bad way. I liked it. I didn’t like it a lot, as in thinking it was so great and I’ll watch it again and again, but that’s just because it wasn’t my type of film. That doesn’t mean I can’t acknowledge that it was a good movie. I can tell that it was. Not my personal taste, that’s fine, but I don’t have any negative thoughts about it.

This was pretty much exactly what I expected it to be, and in that respect I thought it was very good. It was good for what it was. It wasn’t a good ‘accurate’ telling of Noah, if you want to just be able to see the story on the big screen, but that’s not what it was supposed to be. No one ever claimed this was a direct Biblical representation of the Flood story.

Of the small group I went to see this with, I had the highest opinion of it by far. After me, the best reaction was ‘I wasn’t prepared for that.’ They didn’t like it, but acknowledged that it was possible it was just because it wasn’t what they were expecting and if they had been more aware of what it was going to be like they may have received it better. The rest were simply negative with no possibility of coming around, though I tried to explain why the parts they didn’t like were just because they misunderstood the purposes (which made me feel like I was Jelly, which made me kind of proud).

There are many things I could pick out to give my thoughts on, but I don’t really want to because there’s no need to go through bit by bit, and it would take too long anyway, there was so much in here.
I do need to react to one topic though, because it’s an important one. A big issue one of my people had was how “Noah was portrayed as evil.” This is completely (though understandably) misunderstanding what was going on. Noah was not evil. He said multiple times he did not want to do that, but he believed it was what God wanted and as such had no choice in the matter. He was chosen to carry out God’s plan, he honestly believed that was part of it, so of course he was resolved to do it despite how terrible it seemed. It’s no different than Abraham being willing to sacrifice Isaac. He’s just trying to do what God wants him to. Noah was confused, and with good reason. He didn’t know exactly what God was wanting here, but he was doing his absolute best to figure it out and fulfill it.
So yeah; dark: definitely, unexpected: probably, but a blight on his character: no. Just the opposite in fact. If understood properly, this sequence reinforced the depiction of how strong Noah’s desire to follow God’s will was.

I also want to give my take on the Watchers, since I’m typing about things. My mind got really into this, finding different interpretations (which again made me feel like Jelly), and this is what I ultimately came up with. I don’t believe the Watchers are really fallen angels as described, at least not in the actual sense. The fallen angels are demons. They are the ones that sided with Satan in the rebellion against God and were cast out of Heaven forever. This can’t be what these creatures are, for multiple reasons.
First, and most troublesome to me when I was watching the movie, they weren’t cast from Heaven for rebelling, but banished for simply, and one could say mildly, disobeying God by desiring to help mankind. That really didn’t sit well with me, it seemed unfair on God’s part, which is obviously out of character.
Second, when they were destroyed they were accepted back into Heaven. This is a major red flag, because the angels made their choice once and for all. The fallen ones are fallen, permanently. They can regret their decision, but they cannot repent from it. They cannot reenter Heaven. So here, clearly, these beings cannot be actual fallen angels. But my mind used this problem to find a solution, and it thankfully clears up the bad feelings I had from the first problem.
I don’t believe the Watchers were actually banished by God, they just thought they were because of the circumstances. In reality, God kept them on Earth for a reason. They had to be there to help build and then defend the ark. When they had done that they were welcomed back into Heaven because they were never not welcome there. Their work was done, now they could return. It was all part of God’s plan and all had a purpose.

And one final thought. I’ve never tried to predict Oscar winners before because I have no idea what goes through the minds of the Academy when they’re looking for nominees, but I am calling this one right now. This film wins the 2015 award for Best Visual Effects. It’s a lock.
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