Assistance to those wishing to be mayor for a day

[Clodius Albinus]

In the spirit of those "100% legal" essay-writing services one can find online, whose disclaimers always inform the end user that the text supplied is meant "for research purposes only," I offer up suggested answers to the final three questions of the "mayor for a day" contest. Naturally, I am wholly opposed to any unethical reproduction of these responses.

1. How many fish does it take to get to the center of a lollipop?
Stanley Fish. This unique specimen is frequently seen in schools, although it may consider them interpretive communities and deny that any such community can fully comprehend what the author of the query intended by "get[ting] to the center of the lollipop."

2. If you were a tree, what kind of fruit would you hurl at your least favorite movie star, and who would they be?
If I were a tree, I would arguably neither read your post (although I might become one someday), respond to it or have a least favorite movie star, although, tragically, one might suppose an arboreal tendency toward "sappy" cinematography. However, had I roots south of the border, and had I inclinations of any kind, I might be inclined to avenge Pancho Villa by lobbing bananas at Fatty Arbuckle.

3. I once lost an arm-wrestling contest to a man with no limbs. Tell me your story.
I wasted five minutes responding to this, and I'll never get them back.

[The Top Crusader]

I thought the first question was more of the Albert Fish variety, myself.

[Clodius Albinus]

I don't see why you feel the need to make light of my suggestions. Frankly, I'm growing tired of your tendency to cannibalize my ideas.

[EK]

I don't see why you feel the need to make light of my suggestions. Frankly, I'm growing tired of your tendency to cannibalize my ideas.

I don't see why you feel the need to be so sensitive. Jared is such an emo these days...he dosen't even excessively use the wink icon anymore.

[Jennifer Doyle]

Wow, I am utterly confuzzled.

[Hakeber BC Rathbne Doyle]

I don't see why you feel the need to make light of my suggestions. Frankly, I'm growing tired of your tendency to cannibalize my ideas.

I don't see why you feel the need to be so sensitive. Jared is such an emo these days...he dosen't even excessively use the wink icon anymore.

Everyone is being unappreciative fools. I worked my fingers to the proverbial bone to get those answers to these undeserving people. I refuse to accept no for an answer.

[Lord_Kappa]

I think your suggestions are excellent.
*Pats Zedekiah on the back*

[Ruthie]

Fish do not eat lollipops, in any proverbial way.

[Clodius Albinus]

It may be true that Albert Fish preferred a different meal plan, but I have no direct knowledge one way or the other on whether Stanley Fish consumed such confections as a child. Neither, I suspect, do you.